& She comes home, drunk and crying.

The home phone rang.

She asked me to go down to fetch her. Her voice, so weakened & muffled through the phone. I went down to fetch her. The lift door slammed opened, a mysterious man, trying to hold on her. She feeling, weak & drowsy. Didn't have the energy to stand tall with both her legs like how she had always tell us to. She didn't reply me back. I kept quiet. & I didn't dare say back a single word. For the very first time, it didn't feel like a family. It was so much more worst than a stranger. The lift door opened, i held onto her by her arms & walked her back home. She was tearing and walking. And yet, i still didn't have to courage to do, or say anything. Perhaps, it's because of the quarrels, that we have always been through, that pulled the distance between you and me, so far apart. I felt so helpless. My mind was a total blank. A plain white sheet wrapped my mind up. I have a corrupted life. I have always been trying to picture a scene of you, together with dad, with the two brothers together & me. But dad, the 'You' that i have in my mind, was the 'You' that was still there with me, 10 years ago. For the short & only 6-7 years that I've been with you dad, we spent quality time together dad. Like how other normal average family with their daddy & children would. But then, I realised. You taught me the foreign language song. Which was in hokkien, wasn't for the sake of teaching me. But because it was for a reason. At that point of time, i didn't understand the language, but you translated every single sentence that the artist sang. & till now, i finally understood. This song, was talking about the hardships of a dad/family. I can still remember the title of the song till now. From 16 years ago, to 10 years ago, I have really never been up to what i should be. I've failed, I've really failed. I didn't even know what your favourite food and drink was. But you knew all of mine. Because both my favourite Food & Drink was personally recommended to me by you, Dad. For the past 16 years, I have never stopped loving my favourite food & drink. I eat it at least twice a month, to reminisce the past, and remind me of you. At that point of time when you were gone. I was only 6 + Years old. Dad, what would a 6 year old knows about Death? I don't. On your funeral, I was still playing around. I did not shed a tear. But I remembered, shedding a tear for you back then, when you were on your deathbed at the hospital. When your who body was pierced with so many needles. I can never forget the look that was planted on your face when you were unconscious. Your soul and mind was away, but you seemed to be in so much pain. Dad, thinking about it now, it seriously hurts me so much. That i can't control the droplets of tears, flowing out of my eyes. I remembered, out the the three sons and the whole family, everyone had seen you at the hospital except me. I was the last person of blood-relationship in the family, that seen you. Before you left us, for another place. At that moment, were you still holding on just to be able to feel my presence beside you & to feel me touch your cold hands, or was it because you were on a life-support machine? Meaning that you have already been dead, but mama just put you there for me to be able to see you the last time, before your heart really stopped beating? Till now, i still don't really know about the truth, of the whole incident. Out of the three sons, you dote on me the most. I remembered, after my kindergarden, you'll always be at the carpark on a certain day of the week to fetch me home. Despite your busy schedule & our home being so close to the school. & Everytime you were there, without fail, you will always buy the Muslim's Fried Banana for me. It was always three pieces, & You've always told me to keep it as a secret and don't tell Mama and the rest that you bought for me. 2 times a week. Without fail, you'll always be waiting @ the carpark with the food, waiting for me to finish school. I shall stop here. This is my life & family story. Don't sympathize me, because i don't want to be. I want to be just any average boy, like every other boys are.

P/s: Dad, Imissyou.

(The Song You Taught Me.)