Initiative

In⋅i⋅ti⋅a⋅tive

  [i-nish-ee-uh-tiv, i-nish-uh-]

–noun

1. An Introductory act or step; leading action: to take the initiative in making friends.

2. Readiness and ability in initiating action; enterprise: to lace initiative.

3. One's personal, responsible decision: to act on one's own initiative.

4. The power or ability to begin or to follow through energetically with a plan or task; enterprise and determination

5. A beginning or introductory step; an opening move: took the initiative in trying to solve the problem.

Initiative.

A simple word indeed, but needs alot of courage to be done/shown.

I don't know how to start this. We used to be the best of the best friends. Perhaps not you, but you were my bestest, & closest friend. Noone could ever be compared to you. You were once my girlfriend, & then close friend, then bestfriend, & then enemy. We've been through every stage of life before. But now, we're @ the last stage life our friendship. & I don't know how to retrieve it back. Seriously, i have no idea, till this day. I have no idea. Why you wanted to severe our friendship and ties. I couldn't find what wrong i did, nor anything that made me disappoint you. I seriously couldn't. How long have it been seen we last talked? I've lost count of the number of days. & I don't know how long more should this last. You know, i don't know how to take this initiative to walk up to you and start a conversation. You know it's not easy for you. But what about me? You shattered my life, you made me cry, for you. You made me lost partial of hope in friends. Because, you were the closest friend I've ever got. & yet, knowing how much you mean to me, you shattered this thin layer of hope. It hurts, so much. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a long period of time. Tell me, how do i walk up to you and talk to you normally, like as if nothing happened? I can't, & i don't have the courage and guts to. You get what i meant? & if you'll to walk up to me. Neither will i know what to say or react. Whether to shout back at you, telling you how much you've hurt me last time. & how i feel. Or should i just act like that didn't happen to us. & put on a big wide smile for you because you came back. If you're asking me to choose the second option, i'm sorry, but i don't know how to. Unless you could teach me how to, by demonstrating it to me. That day when you were looking for me, i was still in school, i was @ the hall's staircase, waiting for you to come talk to me. I was thinking, perhaps the canteen had too much people, and you didn't dare to come. So i walked there slowly, hoping you might notice and just follow up. But i went up, sat for a while, & didn't see a single shadow of you. Soon later, they found me.

I've been thinking of you, my old friend.

How have you been? How are you? How's life? How's school? Have you been thinking of me? & Will we ever have this chance to be back like how we used to be before? I don't know, i don't know how to open up to you. I'm sorry my old friend, I'm sorry.