Crush, crush, crush. On you.

Today's post is gonna be a short & brief one.

I had a terrible nightmare. I remembered it when i woke up, but forgotten soon later when i fell back asleep. It's been quite sometime since I've had a nightmare. It really was scary, i swear. I woke up, sweating all over. Shivering a little bit. Then,

• Mingwei's house to bainian, gamble & stuffs.
• Went to Yewtee to eat dinner & watch some performance.
• Eat @ yewtee point foodcourt..

I'm glad that,

Things are finally fine now. I'm glad that we're fine, i'm glad that we're fine back together again.

I wanted to end off the day with something nice & something useful.

But in the end, it didn't really happen. I was stopped by fate.

I can't remember how it feels to be in the arms of the most beloved,

& deeply-remembered person already.

Are you happy for all that's happening now?

& please.
Stop fucking pointing fingers @ me for breaking her heart. It faded. & it ended. That's fucking love. & I've never believed in it. You feel the same? Your own fucking problem. I lead this life not for anyone. I fucking lead it myself. I'm dead, my problem. I kill someone, my problem. I don't need anyone to talk to me. Read this well. I DON'T FUCKING NEED ANYONE'S SYMPATHY. GET THIS BITCH. _|_

You / You All,

Have just killed me. Inside, out.

1 victim & counting.

&,

Let me tell you this. I'm not only emotionally tired. I'm also physically & mentally tired. You think you can be there for me? Comeon, try me. If you fail to do so. Too bad. Because i'm not gonna fucking pity you. If you're gonna give in your best efforts to try to cheer me up, seriously. Drop that idea _|_

If anyone is gonna try to find a quarrell or tiff with me,

It's okay, Don't have to quarrell, i'll just say a goodbye. & that's a fucking end to any relations that i have with you, I don't need anybody's sympathy or sympathetic front.

Don't believe me?

Comeon, you can just fucking try me. One victim & counting.

I'm sorry,
But i've got nothing to post nor say. No point forcing or asking me to do things that i absolutely have no idea or interest in doing right now. Fuck. Seriously. I have no mood to post whatever right now. Seriously, i'm pissed off. Cry for all i care, laugh for all i care. Do whatever for all that i care. Let me announce this now,

I'm fucking single now.

I'm not gonna fuck care if you're gonna call me a despo or flirt. Because that's what i will be. Girls fucking spoiled the impression i have among them. Just wait and see. _|_

A series of unfortunate events around me.

It's gonna be a long post today.

I know it. Guaranteed. Because I have alot to post. If you don't like wordy posts. very sorry about that. Woke up by Mama in the morning. She was telling me to wake up to go watch Singapore Airshow 2010. It was a spectacular performance put up by Singapore, Korea, USA & a few other countries. There's this plane that i super like. Not sure if my Brother got take the picture or not. F-50. It's in Red & White. REDDDD! My favorite colour siahh! :D

So,

As we continued walking around. Seeing all the aircrafts & even private small/big ones, i got more into them. They're just so cool loh pleasee. Then thee sell the drinks. it's daylight robbery. For a can of Coke, it costs $4. Haha. Cool uh ? :D

After the Airshow,

We went off. went to take the shuttle bus back to Airport Terminal 2. There was a frigging BEE in the bus lah. But it flew out soon later. So the journey back was quite long. The bus driver was like driving @ his own sweet time. I think it was because the buses must reach @ their scheduled time. Cannot be too late or too early.

Then,

I reached Changi already. & like the title of this blog post. A series of Unfortunate events happened around me. & this is how it goes.

The First Event,

I boarded the MRT, & soon later, this lady boarded the train with a tram. There was 2 kids on the tram. The sister on the top one, then the brother on the bottom one. The brother was quite active. Both of them looked very healthy, they were mixed blood. Blonde hair, with chinese faces. The mother was communicating to them in Chinese. They didn't replied back. But they understood what she said. Both of the kids were looking healthy. But not for the Mommy. She isn't suffering from Hair Loss Problems. But she was balding. It looks like she's just went through Chemotherapy. It was painful seeing her like these, but yet i couldn't do anything to help. She was sitting on the MRT platform in the train. Everyone was looking @ her. I feel bad. I wished, i could stand up and talk for her. Maybe tell everyone to stop giving that kind of looks. But, million of thoughts were running through my mind @ that very moment. I was thinking, why would this happen to her? What could it be to cause balding onto her? Could it be Cancer? Thus causing her to undergo Chemo & resulting to the hair loss? Or was it HIV or AIDS? If it would to be HIV or AIDS, what would happen to her kids? Would they be affected too? I didn't mean to think about these, but it was really very painful to watch. She was suffering, but yet she held onto a strong front. When her kid gets noisy, she wouldn't shout or scream at them. She'd still approach her kids with a smile and pat them. I feel real useless. I couldn't do anything to help.

The second unfortunate event was when i reached back to yewtee already.

I alighted from the train. & was queuing to get down by the escalator. & there's this granny in front of me. Just directly in front, we stood onto the Escalator & slowly traveled downwards. But all of a sudden, the black handrail that you put your hand onto suddenly stopped moving. & the granny was still gripping onto it. So as the Escalator is moving downwards, the handle thing isn't. So as her body is moving downwards, her hands are still gripping onto the handrail. So she was falling backwards towards me. & my immediate reaction was to squat down to support her. I had to react fast. I looked @ her, & she was telling me in Hokkien, "Save me, quick." So i looked @ her hands, it's like as if her fingers was trapped in the handrail. Or not her fingers had cramped & she was holding onto the Handrail damn tight. As if she's holding it for her life. But indeed, she was. the guy behind me saw & immediately came to help. At that very moment, i wanted to tell her in Hokkien, "Ahma, Let go off the handrail." But my mouth just wouldn't open up. & the voice just wouldn't come out. Then they guy held onto the Granny, & the Escalator was still moving downwards. So i walked up to maintain that position, holding onto her. & i almost tripped. Then her leg was hitting against the sharp corners of the Escalators. When i almost fell, i let go of her, & the guy behind me was still holding onto her. It was crowded on that Escalator, because as she's trapped @ the same position as the Escalator is moving downwards, everyone was afraid that they''ll bang onto her or step on her. So i couldn't walk up to help her. But when i moved a little more downwards, one commuter saw & freed her. She smiled to me. But i feel that i didn't do much to help ease the pain as the Escalator was colliding onto her back. As i reached the bottom, i didn't look back to her. & i walked away. Sorry granny. But i hope that you're fine.

The first event was that,

I reached my block, & i was waiting for the lift, then came out this aunty, she collecting things to earn money. Something like a Garang Guni. I see her everytime, collecting Cupboards & other stuffs that people throw away. I wished i could do something to help all these people. I wished i could do something to help ease the pain and sufferings of people around me or surrounding me. I wished i could, but i guess i don't know how to and i can't do much.

I wished i was a better Boy / Guy / Man.

:/

Finally, I feel,That i've matured.

Today's a FRIDAY! :D

Hah. If you're gonna ask me about school, i think it's okay :D Haha. In fact, you can say that i liked it. But there're it's Pros & Cons of going back to study. But nevertheless, the cons will never be able to bring me down. I'm mentally strong enough to kill that thought when it's been planted onto me. Whether by the look on people's face, trying to show me like, "Hey, i thought he finished O'levels last year already? How come he here again?' Or any others faces that gives the similar thoughts of these.

Ahhh,

But nevermind about that. I've still been coping well in school. The homeworks, the lessons, the teachers, & everything in school had been great. Except for one teacher that sort of like, "shoot" the retainees in the class. & this was something of what she said, 'O'levels take once can already, don't take it twice. It useless one.' I think it's something like this. But i remember her saying something about O'levels taking once only. Yeah, it did pissed me off. But yah, it's still not strong enough to bring me down. Too bad, and sorry about that.

By the way,

If you think we retainees come back to school, it's nothing. You're wrong. Because it takes us a hell lot of courage to step back into the school that we thought we graduated from. But now, we have to pluck out all the courage from ourself to actually step back into Regent & face our juniors. & Now, perhaps we can even call them our juniors. We're of the same Academic Year now. & Imagine and think about it. You'll have to listen to people saying hurtful words to you in front of the class or whatever. In other words, to indirectly shoot you because you're a retainee. Or maybe even get despised by people around you. Seeing people pointing fingers @ you when you walk passed. I can tell you, it doesn't feel good at all. Not even a single bit.

With people coming up to you & ask,

'Eh, why are you back? I thought you graduate already?' It doesn't feel great neither. Wherever you walk in school, everyone is gossiping. Fingers pointing at your direction. Maybe i'm just paranoid. But this is how you'll feel if you were to be me. People having to look @ your direction, like as if, you did something so embarrassing. But actually, it's only staying back/retaining for another year to achieve better results.

Yeah,

You're right. We ripped what we sow. I know it's our own fault that this is brought upon us. We can blame noone other than ourselves. But @ least, think in our perspective. Think about how we'll feel when you react that way. Or how about this, think in our shoes. Think about how you'll feel if someone said that to you. You wouldn't feel great, trust me to that. We've realised our mistakes. That's why we're yearning for another chance to change ourselves. To turn over a new leaf. You might not give us your approval, you might look down on us. But i'm sorry, i've got no time to bother about stuffs like that. I've got more important things rather than having to get all emotional and upset because you look down on me. I'm sorry yeah, but i've got no time to entertain that nonsense. Call me arrogant, call me whatever. That's who i am, & i trust. No matter how much harmful words or the looks of despise that you have on your face, you'll never gonna get me collapsing onto the ground weeping like some asshole without a damn backbone.

Too bad uh?

My Mental Strength are so much higher than yours. I've learnt a lesson. & i never wanna step in this footstep again. & I never want History to repeat itself again. If you're reading this post, & you can feel what i feel. Please be sensitive and mature enough to think now. That this crucial year, is not a joke at all. It seriously determines how you're gonna walk/live the rest of your life. You can either put in one more year of hardwork, to get into the Course that you wants, & relaxed for the rest of your life and enjoy the things that you're doing. Or you could enter something which you never thought you wanted. It'd be the last thing on earth you'll ever do, to enter that course. & suffering for the rest of your life. & regret for why hadn't you listened and studied well and hard for O'levels. & Ending up entering this course, which you hate it so much, that no matter how hard you try, you can never seemed to enjoy doing what you are.

Humans only perform at it's best,

When they're doing something that they like and enjoy. You'll never excel in doing something, that you bear grudges for, and something that you don't like and hate doing. You can never excel in that. Trust me. I finally understand why my teachers had been begging and asking me to study for the past few years. I've finally understand. & i'll apologise to all my past teachers, for being rude and being a disobedient kid in class. I've regretted. Sorry.

Wives, wives, wives.

Hi!

Let's talk about a hot topic today shall we? :D Haha, Let's talk about Wives. Haha. Yknow what i feel now? I think, it's so damn cool being able to have so many wives. Haha. All the 大老婆, 二老婆, 三老婆, 小老婆. . Don't you think it's like so cool ? :D If you don't, too bad. But i think it's just awesome.

Haha.

So maybe, if i would to daydream that i'm in the olden days, maybe i could like have like, Errr, 7 Wives? :X HAHAHA. So everyday, can have a different wife. Haha. So i was like telling Love about it. Haha. She not happy! :$ She wants more time with me. Haha. So i told her, I choose 5 wives. Haha. She says she wants to be the Biggest one! Haha.

Then,

on Monday, i spend my day with Love. Tuesdays with my 1st Mistress, then so on and so forth. Haha. But since i only have 5 wives, Love says that she wants to have more time with me. Then make the rest of the Mistresses jealous. Haha. So on weekdays i spend with each and everyone of them including love. Then on Saturdays, I'll spend an extra day with Love. Hahaha. Then guess what is sunday for? Haha. Pstt, let me tell you :D Haha.

Sunday is for, ..

FOR ALL OF THEM ALL TOGETHER! Hahaha. Isn't it cool? All meet up together. All my 5 wives spend time together. Then in the night, .. WOOHOOO! FUN TIME :X HAHAHAHA. Okayokay joke. Haha. I should get One Wife from Japan, One from some Angmoh Country, One from Vietnam, One from India, One from Singapore. Haha. So i've got an International Family! :D HAHAHA. All my babies, will be like mixed. HAHAHA :X That's like awesome y'all! :D Hahaha. Maybe i should really get more wives :D Haha. It'll be fun :D HAHAHA. But that'll only happen in my dreams man! :X HAHAH. Coolcoolcoooooool!

I can't stop thinking about it.

NEHNEH, woooohoooo! This thought is getting addictivee! :D Haha.

Oh anyway,

I'VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN MY APPLICATION TO RETAIN SECONDARY 4 IN REGENT IN 2010! Isn't that like just awesome? But I'll have to sacrifice alot. Haha. Meaning, Lesser computer time, Lesser time with friends, & alot of other things lah. Haha. & I might not be able to online so much. But do keep in contact with my TWITTER! :D Haha, i shall be updating it quite often. Hahaha. Alright? Tomorrow I'm starting school already. Haha. Quite strict school rules i must say.

Haha.

Oh, & i dropped POA & D&T. Cause my class doesn't have POA. & my D&T has already got a B3 for O'levels last year already. Haha. & D&T is super time consuming. Haha. So I'll only be taking English, Mother-Tongue, E-Maths, Combined Humanities(SS + Geog), & Combined Science (Physics & Chemistry). Haha. Wish me all the best! For Maths, I'll have to learn everything from Scratch. From Secondary 1 Maths to Secondary 4 ones. Haha. & the rest also. Haha. I should turn in early already. Haha. Have to report to school tomorrow @ 7.20am for grooming check and others.

It'll be a total new environment.

Hope i'll be able to cope with it fast :D Wish me luck everyone. Okayokay, i've got to go pack my bag and plan my studies and handball already. Oh, I gotta go! BYEEE! :D

Another day of fear, for the results of my appeal to retain

Received a call from Mama today.

With regards to the Appeal for Retain. Mama told me that we'll have to go down to school tomorrow @ 1pm. I'm really hoping that it'll be a success for me to retain. :/ Please pray for me for this night everyone :/

Okay,
Let's get back to the day. Went back to school, for Handball Training. Training was fine. Haha. Had been training with the New Boys recently. They've been nice to have listened to my instructions :D Obedient. I thought they wouldn't cooperate with me. But yah, I'm glad that they did. :D Today, Mr Low took over the Coaching Session. So did this and thats, so after that played game. Haha. Mr Gabriel didn't want Jonathan Lian & Me to play. & they wanted to see how the team will play without us. Haha. So they played, and it was not so bad :D Haha, Might have a slight chance of winning the PESS this year. If the bonds of the team continues to get better. Haha.

Anyway,
After that we finished already. & dance will having their Macdonalds @ the canteen. So i was looking for Love, but couldn't find her. Haha. She said she saw me. So bad of her right? Allow her to see till me, but i didn't managed to get a glance of her. HAHAHA. NEHNEH, Next time i shall peep @ her. Haha. Then she wouldn't know i looking. HAHAHA! Too badddd!~

Love,

Imissyou.

This is gonna be a damn long post! :D

Woke up in the morning today,

Was suppose to meet Mingwei @ 10am to go work together. But that nipple-face, overslept & only woke up @ 12 plus. So missed out 1 hour of work. Then after that, i popped back to sleep. Haha. Soon later, ahwei called to tell me that we still had to go to work. He that nehtao lah. Made me missed out 1 hour of work. WASTED! Ah nevermind, okay.

So,

We planned on meeting @ 1 then we go work together. Haha, But i went back to sleep right after picking up his call. Was semi-conscious you see :X Haha. Somemore, the worst thing is that, there wasn't anyone @ home! So yah, jialat lah. Luckily he called me @ 1. Then i woke up, see the time, then picked-up the phone. I had no Caller-ID, so didn't have any idea who called. But i was thinking that it might be Ahwei. So yah, jumped out of bed, cleared my throat & answered the phonecall. (I cleared my throat, because i didn't want him to know i was actually still sleeping when i was supposed to be @ Yewtee meeting him already.)

& so,

He's @ Yewtee waiting for me already. But guess what, i just wokeup :X But luckily he didn't know :X Hahaha. So i told him, give me a 10 minutes, & i rush to prepare. Haha. So jumped out of bed, grabbed a pair of shorts and shirt. Went to shower & brushed my teeth. & i skipped breakfast-cum-lunch, & rushed to yewtee. Haha.

Then we trained to Jurong.

Went to Beijing 101 Haircare to approach them with inquiries about the Fliers thingy. So we walked into the shop, & the first thing they said was, "Oh, you guys are the one that are here to give the fliers one uh?". Then ahwei and i was like, ._. HAHAHA. So we were looking @ the fliers that was wrapped up by an old newspaper. On the cover, it wrote 2K in red & there as a big circle around it. It's like some kinda aura around it. COOL! So yah, we were shocked lah. 2K ley! That's a bi sum of fliers. It's like Ahwei & I will have to give out 1k each. SCARYY!~ But lucky didn't lah. So she took out half the stack, and handed it over to me and ahwei lah. So it's like 1k in total. BUT IT'S STILL ALOT FOR THE FIRST TIME! :X Hahaha! Then we gave our contacts numbers.

& Off we go to give put the fliers.

Just started, quite bored. But i was trying to think of a way to make everything feel & seemed more interesting. So i gave out fliers with pose & sound effects. So i take the fliers, give out already, will give sound like, "TA-DAHH!" or not is, "BLINGGG!" or not is "WEEEE!" Haha. Then the poses all very the funny one. Haha. Then it managed to attract more people to smile & take my Flier. Haha. Then Mingwei wanted to try my pattern also :X HAHAHA. So yah, we were doing crazy stuffs that were making passer-bys laugh and smile. Haha. Then got this school girl, walk pass me, then i "TA-DAHHH!" to her, then she took my Flier. Then after a very long period of time, she walked back, saw me. & suddenly tell me. "TA-DAHHH!". I was like shocked, then Mingwei told me that it was the girl that i did the "TA-DAHH!" to.

So you see,

I was remembered by them by the "TA-DAHH!" thing. Then Mingwei and I was like saying, they recognised me by the "TA-DAHH!". Then scully one day get famous, then people post on Stomp.sg & others. Haha. But quite fun lah. Me and ahwei, keep crapping. Haha. Seriously is like crap none stop siah. Haha. Then we got our Self-Acclaimed Breaktime. Haha. So we were like super thrifty lah. Went to buy Bubbletea. Then that gayboy was like saying, "Eh, must buy something that can drink and chew one!" Haha. Then i heckcare him lah. Just go as per normal & bought my Honeydew Sago. Then he bought his Ice Chendol. & then @ there keep showing off. Saying that his one got things to eat. Haha. Such an asshole that he is :X HAHAHA.

Then it's like, i was drinking the worst Honeydew Sago of my life. It tasted like plain water. But with Honeydew flavouring. It's like "Wth, my one taste like plain water siah!" Haha. Then ahwei still at there showing off, saying his one taste the best. Can eat and drink @ the same time. NEHNEH! Irritating siah he :X HAHAHA. Then soon we finished drinking, then if you know my apetitie, it's BIGGGG! So i wanted to eat the Meesiam that was right in front of me. NEHNEH de loh. Like purposely seducing me to go buy it like that. Haha. So yah, in the end. It succeeded, & i went to buy it. Haha.

Then after finished eating it,
We went to continue to give out the fliers. Soon later, Pengkoon came & we knocked off from work. Haha. So went back to report. & then we back to Lot to meet Joseph. Waited for around half an hour then he came. So went to Library, he was doing his Mother-tongue homework. Haha. I was just reading the magazines while Pengkoon & Mingwei was teaching him the words. All along, i sucked in Mother-Tongue already. So it'd be a very bad idea for me to teach him. If not he'll end up being one of the three person that failed mother-tongue O'levels in school last year. Haha.

Could you believe that?

I was actually one of the three person to have failed mother tongue. Me, Josey & Louis failed Chinese for the entire Olevel takers for express. WTH! :/ So yah, then soon later, it was late & we needed to go home already. Haha. So yeah, bid goodbye & left. Then me and ahwei was talking while we were strolling to the Bus Interchange. We at there complaining, saying take bus is better. Because we finished Secondary 4 already. Then the card has terminated already. So now become adult fare. NEHNEH, i left 2 dollars plus in my card, but i still couldn't board the MRT, so yah. Went to take the bus, & just dropped 55cents inside. Haha. The uncle wouldn't know that my card has terminated & i'm using adult fare already mah. Haha.

So,

We were listening to our own music on the way back. Soon it reached his stop, & he alighted. & then soon it was mine :D Haha, Took a slow walk back home, & TA-DAHHH! Here i am blogging right now :D Haha. Awesome ayee ? :D I'm tired already, and i ought to go rest now already. My body clock seriously screw up already. Till now, still cannot sleep. This has been happening for days already. Seriously gotta change it back. Just in case, my appeal for retain is a success! :D HAHA. Let's hope it'll succeed :D YAYYYY!~

Tomorrow's doomz day already.

It's tuesday, & the VP told me that she'll call me or mama today to tell us about whether i can go back to repeat or not. Tomorrow got Handball, surely scary one i tell you. I'll be frigging out because will be afraid, but partially will also be happy because i'm going back to school. (& i can see you.)

So yah,

Gonna be a stressful day tomorrow. Please God, Jesus, or whoever that can hear me. this is my last stage of my prayers already. I've been praying, hoping that I'll get a chance to retain. Please bless me with this opportunity & let my appeal succeed. Thanks.

P/s : I ate Macdonalds Waffle Cone just now. Cost a dollar. Super nice i tell you. Best Macdonalds Ice-Cream I've ever eaten. Haha. Idk why, maybe because i hungry uh. That's why whatever that i eat, surely nice one :X Haha. How i wish you could share with me, but too badddd! :D IT'S ALL MINEEE. NEH NI NEH NI POO POO!~ I'm going to sleep soon already. Sayonara!

Love,

I'm coming back to you. I miss you so much, too much to even describe how i actually feel now. I'm sorry i left all of a sudden. & i guess, you might be afraid of getting back with me. But idk. I'm just sorry. Idk what else much to say. Just sorry ;/ Sorry to have broken your heart, and now asking for your forgiveness again. I miss you all these while, & i really do.