Hah. If you're gonna ask me about school, i think it's okay :D Haha. In fact, you can say that i liked it. But there're it's Pros & Cons of going back to study. But nevertheless, the cons will never be able to bring me down. I'm mentally strong enough to kill that thought when it's been planted onto me. Whether by the look on people's face, trying to show me like, "Hey, i thought he finished O'levels last year already? How come he here again?' Or any others faces that gives the similar thoughts of these.
Ahhh,
But nevermind about that. I've still been coping well in school. The homeworks, the lessons, the teachers, & everything in school had been great. Except for one teacher that sort of like, "shoot" the retainees in the class. & this was something of what she said, 'O'levels take once can already, don't take it twice. It useless one.' I think it's something like this. But i remember her saying something about O'levels taking once only. Yeah, it did pissed me off. But yah, it's still not strong enough to bring me down. Too bad, and sorry about that.
By the way,
If you think we retainees come back to school, it's nothing. You're wrong. Because it takes us a hell lot of courage to step back into the school that we thought we graduated from. But now, we have to pluck out all the courage from ourself to actually step back into Regent & face our juniors. & Now, perhaps we can even call them our juniors. We're of the same Academic Year now. & Imagine and think about it. You'll have to listen to people saying hurtful words to you in front of the class or whatever. In other words, to indirectly shoot you because you're a retainee. Or maybe even get despised by people around you. Seeing people pointing fingers @ you when you walk passed. I can tell you, it doesn't feel good at all. Not even a single bit.
With people coming up to you & ask,
'Eh, why are you back? I thought you graduate already?' It doesn't feel great neither. Wherever you walk in school, everyone is gossiping. Fingers pointing at your direction. Maybe i'm just paranoid. But this is how you'll feel if you were to be me. People having to look @ your direction, like as if, you did something so embarrassing. But actually, it's only staying back/retaining for another year to achieve better results.
Yeah,
You're right. We ripped what we sow. I know it's our own fault that this is brought upon us. We can blame noone other than ourselves. But @ least, think in our perspective. Think about how we'll feel when you react that way. Or how about this, think in our shoes. Think about how you'll feel if someone said that to you. You wouldn't feel great, trust me to that. We've realised our mistakes. That's why we're yearning for another chance to change ourselves. To turn over a new leaf. You might not give us your approval, you might look down on us. But i'm sorry, i've got no time to bother about stuffs like that. I've got more important things rather than having to get all emotional and upset because you look down on me. I'm sorry yeah, but i've got no time to entertain that nonsense. Call me arrogant, call me whatever. That's who i am, & i trust. No matter how much harmful words or the looks of despise that you have on your face, you'll never gonna get me collapsing onto the ground weeping like some asshole without a damn backbone.
Too bad uh?
My Mental Strength are so much higher than yours. I've learnt a lesson. & i never wanna step in this footstep again. & I never want History to repeat itself again. If you're reading this post, & you can feel what i feel. Please be sensitive and mature enough to think now. That this crucial year, is not a joke at all. It seriously determines how you're gonna walk/live the rest of your life. You can either put in one more year of hardwork, to get into the Course that you wants, & relaxed for the rest of your life and enjoy the things that you're doing. Or you could enter something which you never thought you wanted. It'd be the last thing on earth you'll ever do, to enter that course. & suffering for the rest of your life. & regret for why hadn't you listened and studied well and hard for O'levels. & Ending up entering this course, which you hate it so much, that no matter how hard you try, you can never seemed to enjoy doing what you are.
Humans only perform at it's best,
When they're doing something that they like and enjoy. You'll never excel in doing something, that you bear grudges for, and something that you don't like and hate doing. You can never excel in that. Trust me. I finally understand why my teachers had been begging and asking me to study for the past few years. I've finally understand. & i'll apologise to all my past teachers, for being rude and being a disobedient kid in class. I've regretted. Sorry.
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