My heart racing @ 300 miles an hour.

For the 2nd time of my life,
I'll be experiencing this feeling again. But this time, it's different. I've went through Results taking last year, but this year, i'm sure, it isn't the same. I feel so afraid now. Uncountable thoughts flow through my mind. "What if I did worse that last year?", or, "What if i could only enter an ITE?". There're too much thoughts for me to just explain it out. I can't even post properly. I can no longer feel the eagerness to post again. :/

The moment of anxiety,
the fear that slaps your face to wake you up from your Semi-Conscious state, the curiosity you have when someone passes you your result slip. You experience everything in the battlefield. But this time, it determines your fate. It determines where you are going for the rest of your life. You might feel, failing this National Examination, is not such of a big deal. You'll only wakeup after years of suffering, then to reflect back, why haven't you studied well when you're in the Secondary School Years.

I don't know what to say right now,
i just feel so afraid. Don't ask me to hush, or to stay calm, i have to be frank, it's not helping at all. I feel the pressure this time round. What if i disappoint them with my Second Attempt? Although i do have to admit, i did try alotalot harder this year despite having to put aside everything irrelevant. I had to balance between YOG, School & everything which meant so much to me.

I'm turning 18 soon.
& soon, i'ma gonna have my on responsibilities to takecare of. I'm not too sure when. But I'm just gonna let nature takes it's course. I wanna divert my attention of O'levels away for a moment now. But wait, someone just told me, "I think you're over-afraid, i see everyone not as afraid as you.". Of course I'm afraid, it's the Second time i took my O'levels ): I want to enter a Poly. Any Poly is fine, just as long as it is a Design Course ):

For my Emaths, i hope i could get as least a C6. A C6 or C5 can bring me to quite an amount. Although not majority of the courses. But at least, it's a certain amount or part of the Poly Courses.

Okay,
I really don't know what to say alr. I am damn scared now. As long as i can get below 20 points for L1B4, I'm more than contented alr. So god, or whoever out there, please bless me with 20points. & I'll love you to the max.