Everyday, it's the same old routine.

& Everyday,
When i switch on the computer, signed into MSN, open the 'Internet Explorer'. The first thing that I'll always do, is to go to your blog. & see how you were/are. Because i could no longer face the fact, that i couldn't talk to you face to face anymore. Perhaps it's not that i couldn't. But maybe it's just because, i don't dare to. Cause', I've lost all the courage. But i want you to know, imissyou, & i really do. But, i don't suppose you'll wanna know. Because, I'm only acting like i care only isn't it? Hah, after all that I've tried doing for you, this is what i got back from you. Hah! How great huh?
('Don't act like you care')
Think about it, my dear.
If you've tried doing so much for someone, just for her to be the least, happy. Doing so much more than what you've used to do before. Then one day, the person told you what you told me. How would you feel? Do you feel happy, sad, angry, disappointed, full of anguish, or some other feelings? & what will you do? Cry, smile, laugh, get hyped-up, kill yourself or some other things? I'm not trying to push all the blame to you. I'm at fault too. You say, you don't want to get too close with me, to reduce the inflict of false hopes onto me. & then you say, you also don't wanna leave, because you care for me. Then i told you, I'd rather that you give me false hopes, then you stepping out of my life. At least by having false hopes, i get disappointed in the end, but for a short period of time, I'll get so happy that you'll never have expected that i would be like. With you stepping out of my life, you might never return again. I don't gain any happiness when this happens, i gain more cracks in my heart & pain beneath my heart. Perhaps I'm sensitive, or perhaps it's because i think too much. But all these are because of you. I care for you, like noone else would. I try all my best to be there for you, like noone else could. But you don't accept all of my attempts. Tell me, when was the last time, that you've actually came to me, and talk to me about your problems, your heartaches, your failures? Was it a week ago, a month ago, half a year ago, a year ago, or much more than that. My mind's in a mess. I can't settle things down and talk to you. Although i wished and wanted we really could. I had been wondering, last time, was it me that broke your heart, or you that broke my heart. I seriously have no idea. I've been wanting to talk to you online, but i didn't know where to start, what to say, & also how to reply what you'll reply. The only way i could know more about you, and understand you much more better right now, is via your blog. I'm tired, really really tired. & I want you to know, I'll love you as long as this love takes me. Perhaps, there'll be a day, I'll get over you? But like i said, it's 'Perhaps'.

Like this sentence says:
'It's sad when people you know, become people you knew'. Do you feel sad when this happens? I'm not afraid to say, but i don't feel just sad. I feel pain, sadness, unhappiness & so much more undescribable feelings when this happens. When will you come back my dear? When will you? Imissyoujustsomuch.
(Come back soon, okay?)
& I hopes what she told me yesterday would/could be true. Let's pray and hope, Wishes really do come true. & let's just hope, what i've always wanted, will be accomplished. Noone needs to know what it is. Wishes are meant to be kept all a secret. Ain't it ? Just remember, & at times when i'm not around, do remember to takecare of yourself, & don't get yourself injured or hurt yourself when having fun. & also, don't think too much before you sleep. Because i guess, you're the same as me. One that always thinks and reflects before one goes to sleep. This whole post is entirely about you.
Ily, Goodbye.
(& If you'll ever get to read this (But i don't suppose that you will) , i want you to know, that i'll always respect the choices you make, & I'll always right behind you, to give you support on whatever that you do. Iloveyou,8634)
Off the rest. Takecare readers! (: