A

You are 27% gay.

You could be more straight, but you will most likely end up having kids.





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I'm so damn tiredd.

Yawnszxzx! I don't know why these few days keep on so tired. Maybe it's because of the sleepless nights. I think i'm falling ill soon. & i'm not having a damn bad hair lahs. & I'm damn irritated by it and hating it. I don't even dare to walk to school alone. So since school reopen-ed, i've been walking to school with Pang. Haha. Today's lessons are still fine. Except for D&T! D&T is the best subject man! :x Haha. I was continuing with my O level artefact. For three hours, it was all contained with build, fix, mend, thinking, & repeat! :x Haha. But it's okay, i like D&T. It's like D&T is the only subject i can really pass. (: Gosh, the o's are coming already. SO BIRDEY! I have yet to get prepared. It's like in less than 3-4 months i think. Haha. Anyways, i wanna wish goodluck to someone. (Opps, just now i wanted to type 'Goodluck', i accidentally type GOODLICK!~ HAHAHA! ) Cause tonight important! Haha, I never leak out anyone's name uhs. He might be close to me, might not be! :x HAHA! ALL PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL! :x HAHAHA. He knows who he is. ALL the best my mann! (: Anyways, i'm tired. I think should be going to sleep soon! :x YAWNSSSZXZX! :X Time check, 6:19pm. & i'm waiting for SOMEONE's reply! (: Teehee.

29thJune2009 ; 10:37pm. You replied.

School sucks for me.
Firstly, i tell you what. It sucks. I have a damn bad hair due to yesterday. I'll explain in details the next time i post. That DAMN guy that helped me to cut my hair ruined it. I've now got no fringe, No parting, No Style, No Layers! __ . If he doesn't knows the meaning of trimming a little shorter. Then go check a DAMN Dictionary. English - Chinese Dictionary. G.D.I! I have to go offline already. & Yay! [A] replied me! (: TEEHEEE!

Imissyou, doyou?

To me,
Yesterday was made up of manymany feelings. Okay, so in the morning, woke up being anxious about meeting up With Pang, Yvonne, & Amanda. The day was great. So, after bathing and changing, i went to lot to study with Amanda, Pang & Yvonne. I was studying physics while Amanda & Pang were studying A'Maths i think. I didn't really see what Yvonne was studying :x Haha. Sorry Yvonne! Oh, i know! She was reading a cats/animals book! Haha. So studying for around 1 hour, then they wanted to eat. So went to the Foodcourt & eat. The three of them ate except me. I was broke. Got no money to eat. So just watched them eat lohs. Pang was damn hungry. So we talked, laughed, played & joked. Then after that went to the place outside Macdonalds. Puffed, talked & talked. & then we were deciding on where to go. Then after that decided on Yvonne's house, to play Mahjong.

So we left to the interchange,
& waited for bus 307. Pang & Yvonne keeps whispering non-stop. Gossiping & gossiping. NON-STOP one siah! Bueytahan the both of them. Then at first, Amanda & I were deciding on the forfeit for the one that loses in Badminton. Then if i lose, she'll cut my hair, & if she loses, i'll mess her hair! (: Haha, Sweet huh? (: I know i know! :x Teehee. But in the end didn't play badminton lah, because Pang had to go within 5-10 minutes. So yah, We went to Yvonne's house, played two round of Mahjong, & then went off. So lame righttzxzx! :x Then her mother asked, why play 2 rounds jiu go already? Haha. Funny lohs. Then Pang had to go for his tuition already mahs. So Amanda, Me, Pang & Yvonne took the bus back to lot. Then Pang ran for his tuition as he was like, 5-10 minutes late.

So we walked,
To go find Kewei. Because Yvonne had to pass something to Kewei, so we saw her. passed her things and went back to Yvonne's house. Then this Yvonne hor, Board the bus already, then disturb Amanda & I. Haha. But nevermind lah, Haha. I forgive you :x But actually must thank you also lah. Because i knew that she'll wanna sit there de. But thanks uhs YVONNE! (: Haha.

Ohyah Ohyah!
I've forgotten to share with you something ADORABLE! You know this Amanda hors, very the BIRDEY de siah. Okay, so we were in the bus, when we reached the stop already, we must alight, then everytime I very AHEM, 'Gentleman' de you see. So I let her go first. Ladies first mah. Then she don't want, then we'll play scissors, paper, stone. The loser will walk first. So cute right? Haha, Okay, then the first one was when going to Yvonne's house to play Mahjong, She won, so i walked first. Second one was when We went back to lot because yvonne had to passed something to kewei & Pang had to go for his tuition. Third time was when we went back home. Then played again. Total score out of three is 2:1. Haha! I won twice. Amanda louya! LAOOOO-ZYYYYYY! (: Haha.

Okay, then back to topic.
Then after that, we reach the stop le, so we alighted, & took a slow walk, and went to Yvonne's block downstairs. Amanda went up to Yvonne's house to pack her things & then came down again. So we went to Stagmont Park & Slacked again. Haha. So we were talking and talking. Haha. Then i realised Amanda had been silent for quite a moment. So i turned to look @ her, & saw droplets of water coming out from her eyes. So i shocked lah, i tried to console her, but she keeps saying she never cry. Then i pat her head & gave her a big hug. HAHAHA! JUST KIDDING. I pat her head and ask her don't cry loh. I don't know what to do when someone cries. So yah, then soon later, Amanda's mother called & she had to go home already loh. So we parted ways, & waved goodbye. & as i walked home, thought kept flashing through my mind.

& when i reached home,
Mama told me that M1 had send a replaced Sim Card already. SO EVERYONE! I'VE GOTTEN BACK MY NUMBER ALREADY. IT'S THE SAME OLD NUMBER. I'VE LOST EVERYONE'S NUMBER. PLEASE SMS ME STATING YOUR NAME TOO! (: THANKS. JUST IN CASE YOU FORGET MY NUMBER, IT'S 9365----. HAHA, HAVE FUN GUESSING. Haha. Alright, that should be the end of my post le loh. Haha. Bye readers! (:
(This three days really do passed fast uhs? I wished it was longer, so i could spend more time with you. & i hope, the time we had together, wouldn't just end at the holiday. We'll still continue it aye? I'll be waiting.)

Everyday, it's the same old routine.

& Everyday,
When i switch on the computer, signed into MSN, open the 'Internet Explorer'. The first thing that I'll always do, is to go to your blog. & see how you were/are. Because i could no longer face the fact, that i couldn't talk to you face to face anymore. Perhaps it's not that i couldn't. But maybe it's just because, i don't dare to. Cause', I've lost all the courage. But i want you to know, imissyou, & i really do. But, i don't suppose you'll wanna know. Because, I'm only acting like i care only isn't it? Hah, after all that I've tried doing for you, this is what i got back from you. Hah! How great huh?
('Don't act like you care')
Think about it, my dear.
If you've tried doing so much for someone, just for her to be the least, happy. Doing so much more than what you've used to do before. Then one day, the person told you what you told me. How would you feel? Do you feel happy, sad, angry, disappointed, full of anguish, or some other feelings? & what will you do? Cry, smile, laugh, get hyped-up, kill yourself or some other things? I'm not trying to push all the blame to you. I'm at fault too. You say, you don't want to get too close with me, to reduce the inflict of false hopes onto me. & then you say, you also don't wanna leave, because you care for me. Then i told you, I'd rather that you give me false hopes, then you stepping out of my life. At least by having false hopes, i get disappointed in the end, but for a short period of time, I'll get so happy that you'll never have expected that i would be like. With you stepping out of my life, you might never return again. I don't gain any happiness when this happens, i gain more cracks in my heart & pain beneath my heart. Perhaps I'm sensitive, or perhaps it's because i think too much. But all these are because of you. I care for you, like noone else would. I try all my best to be there for you, like noone else could. But you don't accept all of my attempts. Tell me, when was the last time, that you've actually came to me, and talk to me about your problems, your heartaches, your failures? Was it a week ago, a month ago, half a year ago, a year ago, or much more than that. My mind's in a mess. I can't settle things down and talk to you. Although i wished and wanted we really could. I had been wondering, last time, was it me that broke your heart, or you that broke my heart. I seriously have no idea. I've been wanting to talk to you online, but i didn't know where to start, what to say, & also how to reply what you'll reply. The only way i could know more about you, and understand you much more better right now, is via your blog. I'm tired, really really tired. & I want you to know, I'll love you as long as this love takes me. Perhaps, there'll be a day, I'll get over you? But like i said, it's 'Perhaps'.

Like this sentence says:
'It's sad when people you know, become people you knew'. Do you feel sad when this happens? I'm not afraid to say, but i don't feel just sad. I feel pain, sadness, unhappiness & so much more undescribable feelings when this happens. When will you come back my dear? When will you? Imissyoujustsomuch.
(Come back soon, okay?)
& I hopes what she told me yesterday would/could be true. Let's pray and hope, Wishes really do come true. & let's just hope, what i've always wanted, will be accomplished. Noone needs to know what it is. Wishes are meant to be kept all a secret. Ain't it ? Just remember, & at times when i'm not around, do remember to takecare of yourself, & don't get yourself injured or hurt yourself when having fun. & also, don't think too much before you sleep. Because i guess, you're the same as me. One that always thinks and reflects before one goes to sleep. This whole post is entirely about you.
Ily, Goodbye.
(& If you'll ever get to read this (But i don't suppose that you will) , i want you to know, that i'll always respect the choices you make, & I'll always right behind you, to give you support on whatever that you do. Iloveyou,8634)
Off the rest. Takecare readers! (:

Cause in the night, i hear them talk.

Youth Handball Training @ Braddell Heights(Serangoon)
Woke up @ 6. Got ready & went to meet Alvin @ Yewtee Mrt. As i lost my phone, i can only get down earlier than before. Cause i couldn't remember any of the three guys' number. Yah so, i went to meet Alvin already. Then we called the rest, Jonathan.L didn't pic up the phone. While Joseph is tired. So went for training @ Serangoon. Did many many drill & then it was the favourite time in my whole handball training. It was time to get our JERSEYS! (: Jersey number '3'! YAYY!~ The front of the jersey has got 'Youth Olympic Games Training Squad', & got the HFS. SUPER NICE LAHSZXZX!~ Okay, then training finish, to went to meet Joseph. Then Joseph & I trained down to harbourfront. To meet Mingwei & Gordon. Haha. Then we went to buy the tickets. Gosh, Mingwei, Joseph, Gordon & I kept disturbing each other.

Life's A Beach (Beach Party) @ Sentosa
Then we went to meet up with Jonathan.P, Sylvia, Lisa Lisa's Cousin & my 2 Super friendly Friends, Joel & Damien. Walked to the beach, joked, talked, highed, & laughed. We reached, we saw Verna, then after that saw Ivan.Lim & Jonathan.Lian. Haha. Then played 'Water-Volleyball' together. Gosh, i sucked @ Volleyball & Soccer man! Then after that, i introduced a superduper funny games to Mingwei, Gordon & Joseph. CALLED 'WATER-WRESTLING!' Haha, this is scary man. Haha. Cause we had 4 person together in the waters. Then me and gordon group as one, Mingwei & Joseph Group as one. Then I sat on top on Gordon's shoulders while in the sea-waters, while Mingwei sat on top of Joseph's. I got to tell you something damn funny man! It's about Mingwei. (No offence uhs Mingwei.) Good things must share with everyone isn't it? Okay, so Joseph, Gordon & My height is just nice for the sea level. But Mingwei was too Sh--- & if anyone sat on his shoulders, his expression would be like, 'PRICELESS' man! :x Then he'll be like too sh---, then his face like cannot breathe, then it turns SUPER DUPER RED! Damnit, thinking about it now, i feel like laughing siah. Okay, then after that we playing, then the dumbass Gordon, everytime when i push him down the water, he'll strangle me de siah! ( & GORDON SUCKS @ BALANCING MAN!) Soon, Jonathan.Pang went to fetch Yvonne from Cityhall i think. Then Mingwei showed me an SMS, from Yvonne. Asking if i mind, if she comes. Of course, i said it's okay:/ Then Mingwei, Joseph, Gordon, Joel, Damien, Sylvia, Lisa, & Lisa's cousin, went to the performance. But @ this time, it's already like quite late already. I think the sun is about to set already. So it's like dawn i guess? Then they let off the balloons, then it floats into the clouds. Cool lohszxzx, it forms all shapes and sizes of different things. But as in randomed ones lahs. Haha, then we went to the main stage, where there's a live band. Okayokay, got something super funny happen here. Haha, Joel, & I wants the 'Kotex' Bag. Haha, It's seriously damn nice, but then, we both didn't dare to go to take. Super joke lahs. then must queue up to take the bad one, so me and Joel and the rest went to queue up. Then it's like all girls lohs. Haha, then we reached the counter, then i asked the lady, 'Er, Boys can take the bag or not uhs?' Then she look and us, smiled and said yes. Woah, a sigh of relief man! I was like damn embarrassed siah! Being afraid that she'll laugh at me! :x Then we filled in our details, super funny one lohs, then after that, Joel, Mingwei, Gordon, Joseph, Damian, & I got the bag already. We super funny siah! Like the 6 of us all damn proud to have the 'Kotex' Bag. Haha. Then after that we super kiasu, see what people have, we also want! :x So we saw the singtel handphone sling, WE ALSO WANT ! :x haha, so we walked to another counter (For the slings), then we all don't dare go inside take, then wait outside at there keep on saying, 'Eh, you go in first lahs, we all behind you, steady one!' Then after that, i think the lady overheard us lohs, then she walked out, carrying just nice 6 slings for each of us. Then must write in a post-it pad for well-wishes. Haha, So we looked at the board, and see what people write, we 'Copy & Paste'. HAHAHA! Super joke lah! :x Then we went the the front of the Main Stage, & there was Electrico, Firefights, DJs, & so much! We were dancing like crazy man! SO HIGHH! Shake & Shake, Jumped & Jumped. You can see super many kind of people dancing there. Got Tectonic(Don't know how to spell :x ), got shuffle & also got alot lahs. Joel and I was also dancing to the beat too! :x Not bad for peeps that I've just met in the day. Joel dance the tectonic super nice siah! Serious, No joke. See he dance, wahs, SEXY SIAH! :x HAHAHA! Then the sky was dark. & it's the night already. The music, live band, sea breeze, sand, sea-water, the males, the females, EVERYTHING, was just awesome. Haha, Soon later, Jonathan.Pang came with Yvonne & her. But it was 8-9 plus already. Then we cna't get into the sea already. For some safety reasons. So Me, Jonathan.Pang, Yvonne & Her sat together.(I've got so much that i wanted to say to you, but i just couldn't open up.)
Then after that, i went to shower. *SKIPSKIPSKIP*. Then after that went back to find Jonathan.Pang & the girls. Then after like awhile, we left Sentosa. & went to harbourfront. Okay, this is like the first time i feel so disgrace of myself. So Joel, Mingwei & I went into Subway. It's like out of my whole 16 years of life, this is like my first time stepping into a Subway Restaurant. Okay, so we went in, i ordered. Then i didn't know must say what. So joel guided me along the way. Then must add thos veggies and sauces, then the lady was like, 'So what sauce do you want?' Then i was like, 'Huh?! Got what sauce? Can add how many sauce?' Then i didn't have enough money, so was like hopinh the price would be the same. Then yahs, i was really like an idiot @ that moment. Haha. It's a funny one man! :x Haha, Then finished eating already, the rest of the peeps came to Subway to find us. Together with the girls. Then went out for a breather. Then she walked away suddenly, then i was like, 'Huh? What happened?' So we just followed. & walked to the Bus Interchange @ Harbourfront there, & they were waiting for bus 188. At that moment, i was thinking of so much. (Of whether i should send you home, or should i just let you go & etcs.)

So soon later, the bus came, Joel they all actually wanted to slack @ Harbourfront. But, i have my reasons why I'd rather go to Choa Chu Kang to slack. I guess everyone there knows, except you. So Joel, Damien, And Joseph decided to slack there, then the rest all left for ChoaChuKang. Then after a small discussion between them, the three boys boarded the bus. Haha. Then i was like @ the standing area of the bus, looking @ them board the bus. Cause i thought Jonathan.Pang & Yvonne not coming along also. Then, i turned back, the seat that i wanted to sit, was occupied. So yah, i wanted to go sit beside. But it was taken. So i just stood there, with my whole heart sinking in disappointment. Then Joel started saying jokes. Super lame ones ._. (As i stood there, i was observing you from afar. You didn't seemed so well, there seemed like there was something bothering you. Part of me wants to know what it is, but part of me doesn't.)

So we were like laughing @ almost everything lah. So yah, we slacked awhile, & went home soon later le lahs. I guess, that should be about all from 20th June lah. There's Handball Remedial tomorrow @ 8am till 3pm. & Handball Training from 3.30pm till 6 plus 7. So yah, that should be all bah. I'm tired already. Kept yawning & yawning. Oh, & pictures wil be up next time. BYEEE!

(& Now, do you know how i feel? I dare not even look at you. I could only look at you from afar. & only while you're not looking at me. I don't know why have i lost so much courage & faith in myself. For what that you've said, especially the one saying that all my concern about you, is being acted out. Does it ring a bell to you? Or perhaps it didn't? Because it didn't mean anything to you? Iwantyouback, but i'mafraid. )
Bye Everyonee! (: LURBLURB.

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We should be a part, not apart.

It's sad when people you know become people you knew.
-When you walk pass like they never were a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them.

(Adapted From http://fairer-amayeci.blogspot.com)

I actually find it quite true.

People you know, have become people you knew. Then, you no longer can look at them in the eyes. Or even just look at them, or admire them from afar. It used to take no courage, or guts to look to them. But, now you don't even dare to take a glance to look at them. Don't you think this relate so much to me to you? Look what have happened now, i don't even dare to face you. Yesterday, you were sitting right there, right in front of me. I have no idea who you were waiting for. Till i got home at night, and she talked to me, and relate to me what happened. But i really don't understand, you said 'Don't act like you care', but now, why do you want to be at least of friends again? Wasn't it that i didn't care. & i don't care? That's what you thought i did isn't it? If i had really didn't care. Would i even smsed you to ask if you were okay that day? Would i always want to send you home, just to see you reach home safely? Would i shed tears for you, for everything that you do or says? I cares, but to you, maybe it wasn't enough. You've stepped out of my life, for what that it seems to me. You can live like how you should be even though I'm not around ain't it? The O's are coming, you should concentrate on your work. With me around, it'll affect you alot. Without me, it'll be better aye? Don't worry, i know you can go through it. I have trust in you. I guess, you'll be so much better without me. That's what i think. I might be true, or might not be true. I don't know. But that's just from my perspective. I've said enough for one post. I should stop here already. Goodbye my love. iloveyou.

I'm going for my school's handball gathering soon @ The Warren. Hope it'll turn out well. & sorry Jong, i can't accompany you to go to peninsula today. What's more, i don't have an ezlink now, so yahs, I'm quite tight on cash, somemore tomorrow I'll have to go for my Youth training @ Serangoon, then to harbourfront, and then into sentosa. That's alot of transport money. Hope you understand aye? I'll accompany you some other day okay? Can't wait for tomorrow, for the Party @ Siloso Beach. Lotsa hot bods to see! :x Then I'll get jealous looking at JONG's figure again ! DAMN IT! i want his figure lahszxzx! ): I shy siah, don't dare to take out clothes! :X HAHAHA! Alright, I'm going for the HANDBALL gathering soon alr. If not it's gonna rain! :x Alright, BYEBYE world!

Just so you know, imissyou, iwantyou, ineedyou & iloveyou. I was talking to Jeslyn about you and me last night, & i couldn't stop my eyes from getting wet. You see, i miss you so much, but do you?

I'm fine baby, How're you?

'Eff, the (World)'

That's all that i know right now.
& that's all that i wanna say. Eff the whole damn world. I hate this feeling right now. But, it'll all be gone the next morning. You've stepped out of my goddamn life. I can't breathe properly, I can't smile properly, I can't continue with my life properly, Without you. I don't know how to go on, You wanna leave, Suit yourself. Since you wanna leave, Make sure, you doesn't come back again. Make sure, I'll hate you, Make sure, I'll stop loving you. Make sure, I can continue living without you. Make sure, all these happens first, Before you are sure about leaving. If not, you'll just be breaking another heart.

Tell me a way,
To let me forget you. Why can you forget me so fast? You never understands how it really feels don't you? All you know, is to never put yourself into someone else's shoes. Do you know how much i'd wished that i could hate you? So i could get over this love, and continue with something else. Hoping i could find another love, who doesn't hurt me like you do. Just so you know, the sight of you just melts my heart. A million questions just run pass my mind, everyday & night. I can't help, but to stare at your name, regardless whether you're online, or not.


I miss you, where've you been all these while? Are you doing well without me? Do you miss me? Do you think about me like how i think of you? Do you still think that all i was doing was just acting?

EVERYONE, PLEASE DON'T CONTACT MY PHONE. I JUST LOST IT, AND MY MOTHER IS CANCELLING IT. SO I'M NOT SURE IF I MIGHT BE GETTING BACK THE OLD PHONE NUMBER, OR SHE ENDING IT PERMANENTLY. SO, ANYTHING, JUST LOOK FOR ME IN PERSON, IF THERE'S NOTHING ELSE, THAT'S ALL. BYE.

I miss you, so terribly.

do you know, how i feel right now?
'imissyou, terribly.'
this four words, kept flashing in my mind.
you smile, your laughter, you eyes,
is what i wanna hear,
and see from you right now.
i just feel so miserable,
without you by my side.
have you ever spare a thought,
or a second, to look at me?
i'm trying to stop thinking about committing suicide.
because i wanna live my life,
for you.

not him, her, them, they or anyone else.
you understand?

-----

Vulnerable, perhaps it's what i am.
Everyday, i love you in silence.
Never will i forget the memories and times we spent together.
Irreplaceable Memories,
Establishing my strong bond of love for you.
,
Will you understand this thought that i have?
'I miss you, dearly'
Let's not depart, any further.
Let us be like how we used to be, can we?
-
Your are all that i can think of.
Over the past period of time,
Understanding what can be done, to make you happier.
-
Still, i can't get over the fact,
That i still really do love you.
'I miss you.'
Letting go of everything, ain't easy.
Loving you, has taught me so much things.
-
Loving needs no reasons, it takes courage.
Only if you'll to know how i feel.
Very much like how you have used to feel.
Embracing yourself to the love that you feel.
-
Making it so hard for me, to tell you iloveyou.
Everyday & night, I'll be missing you.

Hello.

Simple, short & sweet.
Youth Handball Training @ serangoon. > Home > Sleep > Revision Time > Onlined. Yeap, that's what happened for me today. Short & sweet aye? (: I guess, I'll be slowly start to love studying. I'm having tuition tomorrow, @ 10am @ home. Oh yahs, & readers of my blog, i might not be able to come online as frequent already. I needa buck up on studies already. So might not be coming online as often lahs. haha. But do remember to tag my blog when you come ! (: Teehee. Anyways, anyone that wanna look for me, can slowly have fun to find my phone number (: Or you can ask from any of the people that have my number. I'm going offline soon. Byebyee peepos. Love ya.
(That message, has kept me wondering for a very long time. Did you send to the wrong person, or was you referring to me? Or did i get the wrong meaning? I needa know, i really really needa know girl)

Friends, might just backstab you in your back without you noticing.

'When shit hits the fan, you'll be the one to clean those on the wall'

-Leroy(Adam Khoo Workshop)

This sentence really means alot,

When you throw shit onto the fan blades, & it hits the blade, it'll all be on the ceiling and walls. & You'll be the one that clears your own shit. In short, you'll be the one clearing up your own mess of what you've done. You'll be responsible for whatever that you do. For whatever that you do, or have done.

There's noone there for me, when i need someone to talk to. Liars, everyone says they tends to be there for you whenever you need someone, it's a lie. A fucking wide lie. Friends, are only problems and troubles. What do they know? What do they understand? What do they feel? When you feel upset? They claims that they know, they understand, they feel what we feel. Comeon, stop lying. Have the friends of one's, ever gave a serious thought, what one would feel, if you claimed to be there for someone, but when he/she really needs someone to talk to, at least, to talk to, were you there? That's why, i've never really trust friends. Friends are bullshit. Take some time to think about this, 'Have I really been there for him/her when he/she needs me?' & 'Do i really mean it when I say I'm there for him/her?'. Think about these questions, before telling people, you're able to be there for them when they need someone. & you might understand, why i've begun to stopped trusting people.

Thoughts:

-Because at this point of life, at the lowest peak of life, I'm really sick and tired of life.-

-Why do everyone have to focus on the goodpoints of life? Why not the badpoints of life? Badpoints doesn't necessarily means things that kills you. It strengthens your mind, to what you wanna achieve in life, for example, death for me.-

(When have you been there for me? I hate this feeling now, I hate it. I don't wanna live no more, death is all that's in my mind these few days. Would you still smile like you do? If I'm dead?)

A wonderful day with the guys indeed despite the incident. (:

• Sports Carnival
• MacDonald's
• Slack With The Boys
• Bus-ed Home.

Hello everyone,
I'm back to post on my daily rantings again. It's now gonna rain already. Sky so dark, Thunders deafening my ears, & lightning blinding my sight. Okay, I'm just kidding, just trying to talk some cocks. Haha. Alright, today was sports carnival also known as 'Sports Day'. I participated in the 'Inter-Class' Basketball competition. But after that suddenly play with Secondary 3s. We gave them the thrash of a lifetime! My team didn't even lose a match. Haha. (: Okay, so let me announce the scores to you. 1st Round, [66:4](THRASHED), 2nd Round, [33:2](THRASHED), 3rd Round, [Walk Over](Win), 4th Round, [30+:10](THRASHED), 5th Round, [Walk Over](Win), 6th Round, [30+:6](THRASHED) & till the last match, we were disqualified. We was leading, [27:21](Winning), until the teacher-in-charge came in and started scolding. Okay, you must be wondering why we get disqualified, if not we would have gotten champion for the basketball competition already.

So the story started like this, we were advancing and advancing. Till somewhere around Quarter-Finals. Then 4-8 didn't have enough people to play for them. So 4-7 helped them out to play. 4-8 won the match, they played well. (: 4-8 versus 5-1, & 4-8 won. (With our help, I'm not stealing credits uhs!(: ) Okay, had a really tough match. But the 4-8 people won lahs. Then after that, the when we were playing our championship match, the teacher-in-charge came in and started shouting and scolding. & then he question-ed us. Then he found out from someone else that we had helped 4-8 to play for the competition. & then he disqualified us. But at that period of time, we were leading. [27:21](Leading). Then jiu say the class that was fighting with us for the championship is the champion, because we cheated. What the hell lohs please, even the 4-8 people agrees, that if it has to be disqualified, it should be 4-8 being disqualified, 4-8 sided the 4-7 people. But seriously, from my own point of view, you see, 4-7 people helped 4-8 to play, so 4-8 had extra players. But 4-7 didn't add any players. & 4-7 should even be disqualified lohs. Biased! By right we should get 1st one, okay. this thing nevermind. Then after that we wanted to find who was it to say out that we had a mix of players, then while walking, we heard from other people, that the 3-8 people had also used other players from other class. So they told confessed to the teacher-in-charge. That's very sportsman-like. Unless the losers, lost the match nevermind, still go complain to the teacher-in-charge. LOSER!

I despise losers like them. As in not the 3-8 boys, but the other one. People who are there should know who it is. Hah! Then in the end we got second, and 4-9 shifted from the 3rd Position to the 1st Position. Becoming champions. But the 3-8 boys didn't even get the trophies. Our boys didn't went up to get the trophy. Everyone was damn irritated. Seriously, the anger has like reached till the top of our heads already. But it's alright boys, we know we're the champions, and nothing's gonna change the fact. We'll get our trophies one day, I'm sure we will (: Keep up the good work boys. WE ROCKSZXZX! \m/

After that went to slack with Gordon, Joseph, Jonathan.p, Benjamin, Reon, Kavizhnu, & Shihao. But Shihao and Gordon didn't went to eat with us. They went home straight. But it's okay, we all had a super duper happy time crapping and laughing at lame jokes! (: THAT WAS CRAZYYY MANNN! Love itttttzxzx! (: then slack for a few hours, then Ben and reon wanted to go home, so wished Ben happy birthday and we parted. Then after that we went to the guitar shop at don't know what place. Haha. Then walked around, slacked, and went home soon after. Haha. It was really fun indeed. Especially in the bus, we laughed our heads off our necks man! The whole bus was like filled with our screeches. While Joseph was happily sleeping. Haha, he's like seriously knock-ed out from the soccer match man! We kept disturbing him, he still won't wake up. Haha. Really, thanks guys for the day. (If you get to see this post. I don't think they'll be able to see it, cause it's like they all don't have my blog or email.) Haha, After that back to lotone, met up with yuinping and felise after they finished watching Night At The Museum2. Haha, After that jiu bus-ed back home already lohs. Haha, that should be all for today already. Thank you for reading my blog post once again! Sayonara! (:

Change of url and email.

EVERYONE PLEASE NOTEEEE!
I'VE GOT A CHANGE OF EMAIL ALREADY. AND ALSO MY BLOG LINK. NOW ALMOST EVERYTHING OF MINE HAS A [ORSICAA]. CAUSE I'M TOO ADICTED TO IT ALREADY. NEVERMIND, JUST REMEMBER TO RELINK ME, I LAZY TO LINK. BUT IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T WANNA LINK. HAHA. I'M NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT RESULTS. IT'LL SPOIL MY MOOD. SORRY. & I HOPE EVERYTHING WILL BE ANEW AND I'M STARTING AFRESH SOON. ORSICAA'S GONNA BE A BETTER MAN! (: AWESOMEEEE!~

OKAYOKAY, HERE'S MY MAIL.
orsicaa@live.com
PLEASE ADDD!~

OHOHOH, & EVERYONE PLEASE DO MY NUFFNANG SURVEY! THANK-E-YEWS! (:

THANK-E-YEWS, THANK-E-YEWS! (:

I HATE, (THE WORLD)

Fuck everything.

Sick, terribly sick.
Yesterday, stay up till 5-6am to do my D&T, but after that didn't go to school. due to some reason. After that went to yewtee to see doctor. Got MC for today. because i didn't go school. Today was suppose to check scripts. But yahs, i didn't go. I can't take the stupid phlegm in my throat anymore. Seriously, i can't breathe with so much phlegm stucked in my airway. Fuck this phlegm, fuck it. I hate school, school's demoralizing. & when i even tries to studies, and she comes back nagging and saying i don't study. It seriously piss me off. My mood's bad, can't take it, get far away from me. I on't give a fuckcare. Get this, i don't.
(I've got nothing much more to say, i'm forgetting you soon. & i'm moving on. I wanna move on, but i don't know how to. Tell me how :/ i hate you, i hate the world, i hate everything. Comeuse i need someone.)

天都哭了,泪都干了.

HIHI!

IT'S ME AGAINNN! Haha, it's now 4:37 already. I'm still super duper wide awake. Haha! I'm doing my DNT. Which is actually due on Friday. But my DNT teacher gave me an extended deadline. Haha. He's a damn nice t'cher. I'll never regret having him as my DNT teacher. Thanks Mr Kamar! (: Haha, My target, by 1 more hour, I'll have to complete my whole 10 pages. Then it'll be a total of 35 pages. Haha. And now I'm only at 30 pages. Damn, that sucks. Haha. I'm going back to do already. And ohyah, I'm meeting yuinping later @ 5am plus, I'm gonna take the first 307 bus to take whye. And slack together with her. Haha, I'm such a kind soul ain't I ? Haha, Not like her, now still at the bed sleeping like swine like that. Saliva drooling out. Whole body spread across the bed. Haha! Just now 3 am plus smsed me say can't get to sleep. Damn bird lohs she. I got a feeling she won't wake up. Super cock-a-nathan de sheee! :x Okay, I'm going off to complete my DNT. BYEBYEEEE! (:

(I coughed out blood four times, i don't know what's wrong. I don't have to see a doctor. I guess i know what he'll say when he sees me. and it'll be 'You have lung infection, again' Haha! It's the same symptoms. I can't really breathe well. Airways shut closely tight together. When i tries to breath properly, I'll cough, then I'll be gasping for air. and when i sneeze, there's blood also. In both my phlegm and mucus. It just disgust me so much. YUCKSZXZX! But how i wished you cared.)

(The End)

Sometimes, a hug is all that we need to feel better.

Free Hugs Campaign.

Inspired by Juan Mann,

"A man who's sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.As this symbol of human hope spread across the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person."

Adopted from the Official Home of the Free Hugs Campaign

& His story about how it started:

"I'd been living in London when my world turned upside down and I'd had to come home. By the time my plane landed back in Sydney, all I had left was a carry on bag full of clothes and a world of troubles. No one to welcome me back, no place to call home. I was a tourist in my hometown.

Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together, I wanted someone out there to be waiting for me. To be happy to see me. To smile at me. To hug me.

So I got some cardboard and a marker and made a sign. I found the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city and held that sign aloft, with the words "Free Hugs" on both sides.

And for 15 minutes, people just stared right through me. The first person who stopped, tapped me on the shoulder and told me how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. How what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. I got down on one knee, we put our arms around each other and when we parted, she was smiling.

Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven't compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time."

This is a real life story,

& This story touched the soul beneath me. This is what i wanna be part of. To bring smiles to people, even if it's just a short while. By bringing a smile to someone that you've just helped in a good deed, just by sparing a hug for them, whether it's a bear hug or a small little hug, a smile will still be planted to their face. Doesn't doing a simple good deed makes you, yourself happy for a moment/period of time? 13th Febuary, it's Free Hugs Day. Do your part, & put on a smile onto a stranger that you've never met. & Free Hugs Day isn't only on the 13th Feb. Everyday's a Free Hugs Day.

"Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven't compared.

But to see someone who was once frowning,

smile even for a moment, is worth it every time."

Click on the picture to join plurk now!

HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO!
JOIN PLURK TOGETHER WITH MEEE!

GO GO GO, VERY FUN DE.

CAN PUT YOUR AT YOUR BLOG DE!(:
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Because, i've learnt to take the hard blows.

• Fire @ Neighbouring Block
• Handball training @ School
• Ran like madddzxzx!
• D&T Timee!
• Homee!

Let's talk about the fire,Okay, so it goes like that. I was going for my training today. Then i was walking & walking, then saw a damn big crowd looking upwards. Like all straining the neck like that. Hah! Kidding, as in like I'm exaggerating only lahs. Then i as a SUPER KAY-POH Singaporean, (PROUD TO BE A SINGAPOREAN!) went to see lahs. So took a photo of it. The fire was kinda huge, this is what i would say. Because, 2 fire engines was caught down. All the fire-fighters were like, damn hiong siahh! They're all fighting against time. Being afraid that a life might be lost to the fire. A scene of life, and death. & looking at it for awhile, i left and went for school.



It's been like, a month since i last touched handball. Ever since the last incident. Till today morning around 9plus. Was the first time that i ever touched a handball again. I reached, & our t'cher-in-charge asked me to rest. Don't have to do the things that they were doing for the moment, it's like too strenuous for me. But i didn't wanna go training without doing anything at all. So i got this kick of running. So i started with a few rounds, around the school's parade square first, then as i ran, i counted the rounds. I ran & ran, counted & counted. 1, 2, 3, .. 6, 7, .. 10, .. & still counting. I didn't feel a single bit tired. 20 rounds and counting, i still wasn't. 30-40 rounds, still running. I just didn't know how to describe the feeling. My t'cher-in-charge kept asking me to stop. then I'll say 'okay, last round. Going to finish already'. Then I'll just keep running and running. Because, I'm seriously not over-exerting myself. I'm fine. Then to t he last round, i crossed it. 50 rounds for the day, i ought to take a rest. 50 rounds around the school's parade square. I wanted to run more, but my t'cher-in-charge doesn't allow. Yah, so after that got games, i was in Mr.Gabriel's Group. Okayzxzx, now *SKIPSKIPSKIP!



So there was this time, i was walking across the court, out of the blues, a handball was flying towards me, I was sick, so couldn't really reacted or jump away. Damn, the ball was fast. That was the last thing that i remembered before the ball hit my left BACKSIDE of my skull. After that, i couldn't remember already. But what they told me was that, i had a blackout for around 20plus seconds before waking up. I couldn't feel anything, till i felt water in my ears, and i couldn't open my eyes. Everything felt very cold, like as if i was trapped in a cold cell room. First time i ever had a so called 'black-out'. After i woke up, then they carried me to a side. But i remembered, everyone was talking, veryvery loudly, then i finally woke up. & i started questioning people what happened to me. Then herman told me! (: Haha! What a loser i am right? :x


Okay, let's *SKIPSKIPSKIP! then went for D&T. I really need to thank Mr.Karma. He taught me how to do the D&T folio. I was halfway lost, & didn't know how to continue. I aspire to be like him one day ! (: A successful engineering man/teacher. But i don't wanna be a teacher. I wanna be a full-time architect or a product designer! Okay, mainpoint. I hope i can have a career that can designs or is about engineering one! (: Gosh, I've already had part of my future planned. But I don't know how am i gonna achieve it. I gotta start to work hard now. I have to. But it's like, i lack of the determination to do so. Even if i do have it, It doesn't last a long period of time.
(Unless I Have You. To Motivate Me)

Okay, then that should be about all for today already.

OHOHOH,
& I WANNA THANK PENGKOON & VALERIE TODAY FOR BUYING THE MEDICINE AND DELIVERING IT PERSONALLY TO MY HOUSE! (: THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHH ! (:
(Firstly, i thought you'll be the one that is with him. After that, i ended up walking away with a broken & disheartened heart.)

I don't find you anywhere, where have you been?

• Science(Physics)

Today's physics paper was difficult.
So many blanks in my paper.
I don't know what to do anymore.
So many things left undone,
So many things left unsaid.
I have no idea,
What to do next.

I reflected, where would i go after my o's?

Your words,
came into deep consideration into my mind.
I thought about it,
'Where'd i go after my o's?'
& at that moment of time,
I was so afraid,
so afraid.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I'm hopeless, i really am.

& i watched you walked out of me.

Woke up at 1-2 plus today.
Then onlined.
Chatted for a little while,
Then asked people to send songs to me.
Can't wait to listen to it.
That's all for now,
Goodbye.

& When the mountains meet the heaven above.

• Science(Chemistry Paper3)
• Principles Of Accounts(Paper1)

I have no idea,
What to say for this two papers.
It's just a word for it.
'Atrocious'
It's really bad,
I drew on my POA paper,
but after that i couldn't hand it up.
So did another piece.
The maximum marks,
I can score for my POA paper,
Is only 5.
That's bad enough isn't it?
As for my chemistry paper,
It's not that good either.
(During the whole paper,
I couldn't keep my eyes off you.
You told me you'll make my pass my chemistry.
But now, I
I can't even get a damn C6 for my Chemistry.)
That's how bad my paper is.
I'm getting worried about my studies.
I can't afford to fail, again.
During the june holidays,
It's all work and no play.
I'm gonna look up,
For all the teachers everyday of the week,
To help me to improve.
I can't keep going on like this.
I can't.




After school,
Went to the library,
To complete my english homework.
It was to write a Speech,
On Diseases and Littering.
I wrote a 1 & a half page long speech.



& Tomorrow is Mathematics,
And Social Studies.
This two subjects are my worsts.
I've no idea how to get pass them.



(I miss you,)
(I miss you,)
(I miss you.)

Un-usual

Examinations.English Paper 1 & 2,
Science(Physics & chemistry).
English was still alright.
Speech writing and Composition.
'The impact of bad habits on my life.'
I was writing halfway through it,
& RING, time was up.
(I had your name included in my composition)

Then it was science.
Chemistry was a killer.
Out of 20 questions,
I only knew how to do less than 1.
You know what i mean yeah?
Meaning = NONE!
I practically had to like,
'Ti-kam' every answer.
So during the exam,
i was like at there
"MINI-MANI-MINI-MO!,
CATCH THE SPIDER ON MY B---S,
& BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!"
So that's how i got my chemistry answers.
Physics was still fine,
But i'm not confident of getting a good result.
Was distracted halfway through the paper. (& you was on my mind)
After school,
School was really empty.
Gives me the haunted school feelings.
Then slacked around in school.
Then homed & here i am blogging.
I think that's all that happened already.
I shall stop till here already.
Bye.

Walk out of this, on my own.

Tell me why, oh why.
I can't express this emotional outburst of mine out.
Everything's running through my head,
& it's making me so crazy over simple things.
I've been losing and losing,
losing everything surrounding me.
'Walk out of this, on my own'
It makes sense in every other way.
Friends,
Never tend to make enough time for one another.
Even if it does, it's never enough.
Nothing is ever enough.
Sketch me a rainbow, cry me a pool of blood.

'Hear the meaning within the word.'
William Shakespeare