A series of unfortunate events around me.

It's gonna be a long post today.

I know it. Guaranteed. Because I have alot to post. If you don't like wordy posts. very sorry about that. Woke up by Mama in the morning. She was telling me to wake up to go watch Singapore Airshow 2010. It was a spectacular performance put up by Singapore, Korea, USA & a few other countries. There's this plane that i super like. Not sure if my Brother got take the picture or not. F-50. It's in Red & White. REDDDD! My favorite colour siahh! :D

So,

As we continued walking around. Seeing all the aircrafts & even private small/big ones, i got more into them. They're just so cool loh pleasee. Then thee sell the drinks. it's daylight robbery. For a can of Coke, it costs $4. Haha. Cool uh ? :D

After the Airshow,

We went off. went to take the shuttle bus back to Airport Terminal 2. There was a frigging BEE in the bus lah. But it flew out soon later. So the journey back was quite long. The bus driver was like driving @ his own sweet time. I think it was because the buses must reach @ their scheduled time. Cannot be too late or too early.

Then,

I reached Changi already. & like the title of this blog post. A series of Unfortunate events happened around me. & this is how it goes.

The First Event,

I boarded the MRT, & soon later, this lady boarded the train with a tram. There was 2 kids on the tram. The sister on the top one, then the brother on the bottom one. The brother was quite active. Both of them looked very healthy, they were mixed blood. Blonde hair, with chinese faces. The mother was communicating to them in Chinese. They didn't replied back. But they understood what she said. Both of the kids were looking healthy. But not for the Mommy. She isn't suffering from Hair Loss Problems. But she was balding. It looks like she's just went through Chemotherapy. It was painful seeing her like these, but yet i couldn't do anything to help. She was sitting on the MRT platform in the train. Everyone was looking @ her. I feel bad. I wished, i could stand up and talk for her. Maybe tell everyone to stop giving that kind of looks. But, million of thoughts were running through my mind @ that very moment. I was thinking, why would this happen to her? What could it be to cause balding onto her? Could it be Cancer? Thus causing her to undergo Chemo & resulting to the hair loss? Or was it HIV or AIDS? If it would to be HIV or AIDS, what would happen to her kids? Would they be affected too? I didn't mean to think about these, but it was really very painful to watch. She was suffering, but yet she held onto a strong front. When her kid gets noisy, she wouldn't shout or scream at them. She'd still approach her kids with a smile and pat them. I feel real useless. I couldn't do anything to help.

The second unfortunate event was when i reached back to yewtee already.

I alighted from the train. & was queuing to get down by the escalator. & there's this granny in front of me. Just directly in front, we stood onto the Escalator & slowly traveled downwards. But all of a sudden, the black handrail that you put your hand onto suddenly stopped moving. & the granny was still gripping onto it. So as the Escalator is moving downwards, the handle thing isn't. So as her body is moving downwards, her hands are still gripping onto the handrail. So she was falling backwards towards me. & my immediate reaction was to squat down to support her. I had to react fast. I looked @ her, & she was telling me in Hokkien, "Save me, quick." So i looked @ her hands, it's like as if her fingers was trapped in the handrail. Or not her fingers had cramped & she was holding onto the Handrail damn tight. As if she's holding it for her life. But indeed, she was. the guy behind me saw & immediately came to help. At that very moment, i wanted to tell her in Hokkien, "Ahma, Let go off the handrail." But my mouth just wouldn't open up. & the voice just wouldn't come out. Then they guy held onto the Granny, & the Escalator was still moving downwards. So i walked up to maintain that position, holding onto her. & i almost tripped. Then her leg was hitting against the sharp corners of the Escalators. When i almost fell, i let go of her, & the guy behind me was still holding onto her. It was crowded on that Escalator, because as she's trapped @ the same position as the Escalator is moving downwards, everyone was afraid that they''ll bang onto her or step on her. So i couldn't walk up to help her. But when i moved a little more downwards, one commuter saw & freed her. She smiled to me. But i feel that i didn't do much to help ease the pain as the Escalator was colliding onto her back. As i reached the bottom, i didn't look back to her. & i walked away. Sorry granny. But i hope that you're fine.

The first event was that,

I reached my block, & i was waiting for the lift, then came out this aunty, she collecting things to earn money. Something like a Garang Guni. I see her everytime, collecting Cupboards & other stuffs that people throw away. I wished i could do something to help all these people. I wished i could do something to help ease the pain and sufferings of people around me or surrounding me. I wished i could, but i guess i don't know how to and i can't do much.

I wished i was a better Boy / Guy / Man.

:/

Finally, I feel,That i've matured.

Today's a FRIDAY! :D

Hah. If you're gonna ask me about school, i think it's okay :D Haha. In fact, you can say that i liked it. But there're it's Pros & Cons of going back to study. But nevertheless, the cons will never be able to bring me down. I'm mentally strong enough to kill that thought when it's been planted onto me. Whether by the look on people's face, trying to show me like, "Hey, i thought he finished O'levels last year already? How come he here again?' Or any others faces that gives the similar thoughts of these.

Ahhh,

But nevermind about that. I've still been coping well in school. The homeworks, the lessons, the teachers, & everything in school had been great. Except for one teacher that sort of like, "shoot" the retainees in the class. & this was something of what she said, 'O'levels take once can already, don't take it twice. It useless one.' I think it's something like this. But i remember her saying something about O'levels taking once only. Yeah, it did pissed me off. But yah, it's still not strong enough to bring me down. Too bad, and sorry about that.

By the way,

If you think we retainees come back to school, it's nothing. You're wrong. Because it takes us a hell lot of courage to step back into the school that we thought we graduated from. But now, we have to pluck out all the courage from ourself to actually step back into Regent & face our juniors. & Now, perhaps we can even call them our juniors. We're of the same Academic Year now. & Imagine and think about it. You'll have to listen to people saying hurtful words to you in front of the class or whatever. In other words, to indirectly shoot you because you're a retainee. Or maybe even get despised by people around you. Seeing people pointing fingers @ you when you walk passed. I can tell you, it doesn't feel good at all. Not even a single bit.

With people coming up to you & ask,

'Eh, why are you back? I thought you graduate already?' It doesn't feel great neither. Wherever you walk in school, everyone is gossiping. Fingers pointing at your direction. Maybe i'm just paranoid. But this is how you'll feel if you were to be me. People having to look @ your direction, like as if, you did something so embarrassing. But actually, it's only staying back/retaining for another year to achieve better results.

Yeah,

You're right. We ripped what we sow. I know it's our own fault that this is brought upon us. We can blame noone other than ourselves. But @ least, think in our perspective. Think about how we'll feel when you react that way. Or how about this, think in our shoes. Think about how you'll feel if someone said that to you. You wouldn't feel great, trust me to that. We've realised our mistakes. That's why we're yearning for another chance to change ourselves. To turn over a new leaf. You might not give us your approval, you might look down on us. But i'm sorry, i've got no time to bother about stuffs like that. I've got more important things rather than having to get all emotional and upset because you look down on me. I'm sorry yeah, but i've got no time to entertain that nonsense. Call me arrogant, call me whatever. That's who i am, & i trust. No matter how much harmful words or the looks of despise that you have on your face, you'll never gonna get me collapsing onto the ground weeping like some asshole without a damn backbone.

Too bad uh?

My Mental Strength are so much higher than yours. I've learnt a lesson. & i never wanna step in this footstep again. & I never want History to repeat itself again. If you're reading this post, & you can feel what i feel. Please be sensitive and mature enough to think now. That this crucial year, is not a joke at all. It seriously determines how you're gonna walk/live the rest of your life. You can either put in one more year of hardwork, to get into the Course that you wants, & relaxed for the rest of your life and enjoy the things that you're doing. Or you could enter something which you never thought you wanted. It'd be the last thing on earth you'll ever do, to enter that course. & suffering for the rest of your life. & regret for why hadn't you listened and studied well and hard for O'levels. & Ending up entering this course, which you hate it so much, that no matter how hard you try, you can never seemed to enjoy doing what you are.

Humans only perform at it's best,

When they're doing something that they like and enjoy. You'll never excel in doing something, that you bear grudges for, and something that you don't like and hate doing. You can never excel in that. Trust me. I finally understand why my teachers had been begging and asking me to study for the past few years. I've finally understand. & i'll apologise to all my past teachers, for being rude and being a disobedient kid in class. I've regretted. Sorry.

Wives, wives, wives.

Hi!

Let's talk about a hot topic today shall we? :D Haha, Let's talk about Wives. Haha. Yknow what i feel now? I think, it's so damn cool being able to have so many wives. Haha. All the 大老婆, 二老婆, 三老婆, 小老婆. . Don't you think it's like so cool ? :D If you don't, too bad. But i think it's just awesome.

Haha.

So maybe, if i would to daydream that i'm in the olden days, maybe i could like have like, Errr, 7 Wives? :X HAHAHA. So everyday, can have a different wife. Haha. So i was like telling Love about it. Haha. She not happy! :$ She wants more time with me. Haha. So i told her, I choose 5 wives. Haha. She says she wants to be the Biggest one! Haha.

Then,

on Monday, i spend my day with Love. Tuesdays with my 1st Mistress, then so on and so forth. Haha. But since i only have 5 wives, Love says that she wants to have more time with me. Then make the rest of the Mistresses jealous. Haha. So on weekdays i spend with each and everyone of them including love. Then on Saturdays, I'll spend an extra day with Love. Hahaha. Then guess what is sunday for? Haha. Pstt, let me tell you :D Haha.

Sunday is for, ..

FOR ALL OF THEM ALL TOGETHER! Hahaha. Isn't it cool? All meet up together. All my 5 wives spend time together. Then in the night, .. WOOHOOO! FUN TIME :X HAHAHAHA. Okayokay joke. Haha. I should get One Wife from Japan, One from some Angmoh Country, One from Vietnam, One from India, One from Singapore. Haha. So i've got an International Family! :D HAHAHA. All my babies, will be like mixed. HAHAHA :X That's like awesome y'all! :D Hahaha. Maybe i should really get more wives :D Haha. It'll be fun :D HAHAHA. But that'll only happen in my dreams man! :X HAHAH. Coolcoolcoooooool!

I can't stop thinking about it.

NEHNEH, woooohoooo! This thought is getting addictivee! :D Haha.

Oh anyway,

I'VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN MY APPLICATION TO RETAIN SECONDARY 4 IN REGENT IN 2010! Isn't that like just awesome? But I'll have to sacrifice alot. Haha. Meaning, Lesser computer time, Lesser time with friends, & alot of other things lah. Haha. & I might not be able to online so much. But do keep in contact with my TWITTER! :D Haha, i shall be updating it quite often. Hahaha. Alright? Tomorrow I'm starting school already. Haha. Quite strict school rules i must say.

Haha.

Oh, & i dropped POA & D&T. Cause my class doesn't have POA. & my D&T has already got a B3 for O'levels last year already. Haha. & D&T is super time consuming. Haha. So I'll only be taking English, Mother-Tongue, E-Maths, Combined Humanities(SS + Geog), & Combined Science (Physics & Chemistry). Haha. Wish me all the best! For Maths, I'll have to learn everything from Scratch. From Secondary 1 Maths to Secondary 4 ones. Haha. & the rest also. Haha. I should turn in early already. Haha. Have to report to school tomorrow @ 7.20am for grooming check and others.

It'll be a total new environment.

Hope i'll be able to cope with it fast :D Wish me luck everyone. Okayokay, i've got to go pack my bag and plan my studies and handball already. Oh, I gotta go! BYEEE! :D

Another day of fear, for the results of my appeal to retain

Received a call from Mama today.

With regards to the Appeal for Retain. Mama told me that we'll have to go down to school tomorrow @ 1pm. I'm really hoping that it'll be a success for me to retain. :/ Please pray for me for this night everyone :/

Okay,
Let's get back to the day. Went back to school, for Handball Training. Training was fine. Haha. Had been training with the New Boys recently. They've been nice to have listened to my instructions :D Obedient. I thought they wouldn't cooperate with me. But yah, I'm glad that they did. :D Today, Mr Low took over the Coaching Session. So did this and thats, so after that played game. Haha. Mr Gabriel didn't want Jonathan Lian & Me to play. & they wanted to see how the team will play without us. Haha. So they played, and it was not so bad :D Haha, Might have a slight chance of winning the PESS this year. If the bonds of the team continues to get better. Haha.

Anyway,
After that we finished already. & dance will having their Macdonalds @ the canteen. So i was looking for Love, but couldn't find her. Haha. She said she saw me. So bad of her right? Allow her to see till me, but i didn't managed to get a glance of her. HAHAHA. NEHNEH, Next time i shall peep @ her. Haha. Then she wouldn't know i looking. HAHAHA! Too badddd!~

Love,

Imissyou.

This is gonna be a damn long post! :D

Woke up in the morning today,

Was suppose to meet Mingwei @ 10am to go work together. But that nipple-face, overslept & only woke up @ 12 plus. So missed out 1 hour of work. Then after that, i popped back to sleep. Haha. Soon later, ahwei called to tell me that we still had to go to work. He that nehtao lah. Made me missed out 1 hour of work. WASTED! Ah nevermind, okay.

So,

We planned on meeting @ 1 then we go work together. Haha, But i went back to sleep right after picking up his call. Was semi-conscious you see :X Haha. Somemore, the worst thing is that, there wasn't anyone @ home! So yah, jialat lah. Luckily he called me @ 1. Then i woke up, see the time, then picked-up the phone. I had no Caller-ID, so didn't have any idea who called. But i was thinking that it might be Ahwei. So yah, jumped out of bed, cleared my throat & answered the phonecall. (I cleared my throat, because i didn't want him to know i was actually still sleeping when i was supposed to be @ Yewtee meeting him already.)

& so,

He's @ Yewtee waiting for me already. But guess what, i just wokeup :X But luckily he didn't know :X Hahaha. So i told him, give me a 10 minutes, & i rush to prepare. Haha. So jumped out of bed, grabbed a pair of shorts and shirt. Went to shower & brushed my teeth. & i skipped breakfast-cum-lunch, & rushed to yewtee. Haha.

Then we trained to Jurong.

Went to Beijing 101 Haircare to approach them with inquiries about the Fliers thingy. So we walked into the shop, & the first thing they said was, "Oh, you guys are the one that are here to give the fliers one uh?". Then ahwei and i was like, ._. HAHAHA. So we were looking @ the fliers that was wrapped up by an old newspaper. On the cover, it wrote 2K in red & there as a big circle around it. It's like some kinda aura around it. COOL! So yah, we were shocked lah. 2K ley! That's a bi sum of fliers. It's like Ahwei & I will have to give out 1k each. SCARYY!~ But lucky didn't lah. So she took out half the stack, and handed it over to me and ahwei lah. So it's like 1k in total. BUT IT'S STILL ALOT FOR THE FIRST TIME! :X Hahaha! Then we gave our contacts numbers.

& Off we go to give put the fliers.

Just started, quite bored. But i was trying to think of a way to make everything feel & seemed more interesting. So i gave out fliers with pose & sound effects. So i take the fliers, give out already, will give sound like, "TA-DAHH!" or not is, "BLINGGG!" or not is "WEEEE!" Haha. Then the poses all very the funny one. Haha. Then it managed to attract more people to smile & take my Flier. Haha. Then Mingwei wanted to try my pattern also :X HAHAHA. So yah, we were doing crazy stuffs that were making passer-bys laugh and smile. Haha. Then got this school girl, walk pass me, then i "TA-DAHHH!" to her, then she took my Flier. Then after a very long period of time, she walked back, saw me. & suddenly tell me. "TA-DAHHH!". I was like shocked, then Mingwei told me that it was the girl that i did the "TA-DAHH!" to.

So you see,

I was remembered by them by the "TA-DAHH!" thing. Then Mingwei and I was like saying, they recognised me by the "TA-DAHH!". Then scully one day get famous, then people post on Stomp.sg & others. Haha. But quite fun lah. Me and ahwei, keep crapping. Haha. Seriously is like crap none stop siah. Haha. Then we got our Self-Acclaimed Breaktime. Haha. So we were like super thrifty lah. Went to buy Bubbletea. Then that gayboy was like saying, "Eh, must buy something that can drink and chew one!" Haha. Then i heckcare him lah. Just go as per normal & bought my Honeydew Sago. Then he bought his Ice Chendol. & then @ there keep showing off. Saying that his one got things to eat. Haha. Such an asshole that he is :X HAHAHA.

Then it's like, i was drinking the worst Honeydew Sago of my life. It tasted like plain water. But with Honeydew flavouring. It's like "Wth, my one taste like plain water siah!" Haha. Then ahwei still at there showing off, saying his one taste the best. Can eat and drink @ the same time. NEHNEH! Irritating siah he :X HAHAHA. Then soon we finished drinking, then if you know my apetitie, it's BIGGGG! So i wanted to eat the Meesiam that was right in front of me. NEHNEH de loh. Like purposely seducing me to go buy it like that. Haha. So yah, in the end. It succeeded, & i went to buy it. Haha.

Then after finished eating it,
We went to continue to give out the fliers. Soon later, Pengkoon came & we knocked off from work. Haha. So went back to report. & then we back to Lot to meet Joseph. Waited for around half an hour then he came. So went to Library, he was doing his Mother-tongue homework. Haha. I was just reading the magazines while Pengkoon & Mingwei was teaching him the words. All along, i sucked in Mother-Tongue already. So it'd be a very bad idea for me to teach him. If not he'll end up being one of the three person that failed mother-tongue O'levels in school last year. Haha.

Could you believe that?

I was actually one of the three person to have failed mother tongue. Me, Josey & Louis failed Chinese for the entire Olevel takers for express. WTH! :/ So yah, then soon later, it was late & we needed to go home already. Haha. So yeah, bid goodbye & left. Then me and ahwei was talking while we were strolling to the Bus Interchange. We at there complaining, saying take bus is better. Because we finished Secondary 4 already. Then the card has terminated already. So now become adult fare. NEHNEH, i left 2 dollars plus in my card, but i still couldn't board the MRT, so yah. Went to take the bus, & just dropped 55cents inside. Haha. The uncle wouldn't know that my card has terminated & i'm using adult fare already mah. Haha.

So,

We were listening to our own music on the way back. Soon it reached his stop, & he alighted. & then soon it was mine :D Haha, Took a slow walk back home, & TA-DAHHH! Here i am blogging right now :D Haha. Awesome ayee ? :D I'm tired already, and i ought to go rest now already. My body clock seriously screw up already. Till now, still cannot sleep. This has been happening for days already. Seriously gotta change it back. Just in case, my appeal for retain is a success! :D HAHA. Let's hope it'll succeed :D YAYYYY!~

Tomorrow's doomz day already.

It's tuesday, & the VP told me that she'll call me or mama today to tell us about whether i can go back to repeat or not. Tomorrow got Handball, surely scary one i tell you. I'll be frigging out because will be afraid, but partially will also be happy because i'm going back to school. (& i can see you.)

So yah,

Gonna be a stressful day tomorrow. Please God, Jesus, or whoever that can hear me. this is my last stage of my prayers already. I've been praying, hoping that I'll get a chance to retain. Please bless me with this opportunity & let my appeal succeed. Thanks.

P/s : I ate Macdonalds Waffle Cone just now. Cost a dollar. Super nice i tell you. Best Macdonalds Ice-Cream I've ever eaten. Haha. Idk why, maybe because i hungry uh. That's why whatever that i eat, surely nice one :X Haha. How i wish you could share with me, but too badddd! :D IT'S ALL MINEEE. NEH NI NEH NI POO POO!~ I'm going to sleep soon already. Sayonara!

Love,

I'm coming back to you. I miss you so much, too much to even describe how i actually feel now. I'm sorry i left all of a sudden. & i guess, you might be afraid of getting back with me. But idk. I'm just sorry. Idk what else much to say. Just sorry ;/ Sorry to have broken your heart, and now asking for your forgiveness again. I miss you all these while, & i really do.

71 True Facts About Boys, That Girls Never Knew.

Article on Guys that Females never knew. if you really wish to understand about you guy, please spend the extra time reading this long post. It's meaningful. I read it, feeling how every guy would feel. Nodding the head in agreement, thinking who the hell is this Smartass which posted such a True & Interesting article.

Make the extra effort to understand more. Because this doesn't kills you, it makes you understand and makes you go into a deeper level of understanding towards boys/guys.

1. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

[Which almost never works]

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch, .. GOODBYE!

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

11. Don't kick a guy in the crotch. Really, don't. It hurts, A LOT. And plus, its humiliating.

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

14. Guys love it when you play with their hair.

15. Guys use words like hot or sexy to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.

16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it, can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

22. If you ask us to be honest, don't get mad if we are, and you just don't like our answer.

23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

26. When a guy tells a girl that they have a secret, It is usually about a girl. The girl the guy told knows the other girl.

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

28. Guys think its pretty cool when a girl knows everything about something we like. But its even cooler when they want to know about something we like.

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing, but somehow are drawn even more to them.

30. Don't say , "I'm right because I'm a girl." Because its not true. If that was true, then The Bengals would have won the super bowl.

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

32. NOT ALL GUYS ARE ASSHOLES!!!

Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.

33. Just like you don't like us talking about our ex girlfriends, don't talk about your exes either. It sucks.

34. Don't say things like, "I've given up on guys. They're all pricks. They're all the same." Because we aren't, and never will be.

35. Guys love neck rubs. And if he lets you keep doing it, it means that he really likes you, or his neck really hurts.

36. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

37. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you when you were dating, he probably still does. And if he had one wish, it would be you to come back into his life.

38. Guys are just a self-conscious as you are. So don't talk about that guy over there with the huge muscles. it just makes us feel smaller. (Unless we are the dude with the muscle.)

39. The sexiest thing a girl can have is confidence. When we tell you you look great, don't tell us we're wrong, it makes us want to stop telling you.

40. Don't get mad when we hold the door open for you, we know you can do it yourself, but we're trying to prove Chivalry isn't dead.

41. Take advantage of the mood were in. If we are depressed, try to cheer us up. If we snap at you, don't try to help us, just sit there with us.

42. Lets us pay for you. Don't say 'i feel bad', we like to do it.

43 Kiss us when no ones watching. But if you kiss us in public, we'll be impressed.

44. You don't have to get dolled up every time we got out. If were dating you, it means we like you for who you are, not what you wear. (most of the time)

45. Don't take everything we say as 100% true. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.

46. Stop using magazines and the media as your bible. We really don't care about how hot the Jonas brothers, or Brad Pitt, or whoever the hot celebrity of the day is.

47. Whatever happened to the word "handsome" or "beautiful"? I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy" or whatever other pet names you can think of.

48. And if you are being treated wrong by a guy, don't WAIT for him to change, because hes not going to. You either have to deal with it, or break up with him. Find someone who will treat you with utter respect. Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who can make you smile when you're at your lowest. Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

49. Don't get your friends to ask us out. if you really want to date us, ask us yourselves.

50. No matter how often we tell you we don't care about your relationships with ex-boyfriends, we do.

51. We like it when you indulge us. Not constantly, but we like to know we've done something right, and be rewarded.

52. Nothing is worse than not being talked to. Don't use it as a punishment, it sucks more than you know.

53. If you have a problem with us, don't talk to a good friend. Talk to us. The friend only gets angry for you, and comes to us with that anger. When they yell at us, we get defensive and angry at YOU, because we assume that you would have talked to us first.

54. Don't insult us, even jokingly. It hurts.

55. Having someone put before of us, especially another guy, really does start stuff in our mind. We read into a lot, whether we should or not.

56. We almost ALWAYS feel our best isn't good enough for you. Make sure we know its more than enough for you.

57. Guys want to be your knight in shining armor. We do know sometimes it's best to listen, but it's really difficult to not try to save the day.

58. Guys like it when you touch their chests.

59. If we mess up, it will haunt us for weeks. Please, be forgiving. At the very least, let us try to make it up to you.

60. If we know you're upset... nothing else is right.

61. When a guy loves a girl, he'll go to surprising lengths to just be with her- in any setting.

62. Guys do listen. When we zone out, were usually thinking about what you just said.

63. Just because the last guy you dated screwed up, does not mean we will.

64. You do not have to wear gobs of makeup to impress us. Actually, we think you look better without it.

65. When breaking up, don't use the phrase, "You are the most [insert positive adjective] guy I've ever met." Because if we were, you wouldn't be breaking up with us.

66. We don't mind doing it, but its nice when we don't have to make the first move every single time. Because when we have to, it lowers our confidence level.

67. The sad truth- we are still only human. We WILL mess up and disappoint you at sometime, but the thing to remember is that we didn't mean to, and while an argument might be the first reaction, sometimes forgiveness is better. (and we also know that you will too.)

68. Most of the time, we care about the things you care about. Just because we don’t have an interest in it, doesn’t mean we don’t care... that you care.

69. If we mess up, and we know it, we'll do anything to get back in your good graces. And if we've been groveling for a week, stop making us feel like shit, because it does hurt, and we mean it when we say 'I'm sorry.''

70. We aren't stupid, we can tell there's something wrong just by the way you talk or you text.

71.Never ever forget a guy's instructions if they asked you to text them when you are done with something, because it will make them think that you don't care about them at all or don't want to bother about them.

72. Guys just want they woman to make them feel alive again.

73. Guys just like woman that are able to think in their shoes.

74. Guys just hate it when females starts pushing blame to themselves.

75. Guys have strong intuition also. They can feel things as much as females too.

76. Listen to what a guy have to say, because times like these, doesn't come by often.

(I added 72 - 76 by myself. That's what i feel about guys too. Or maybe that's what i feel from my own perspective.)

Today's a great day :D

HI EVERYBODY!

Today's a great day i tell you. Haha. The start of the day didn't turn out well. But it was better after that. Haha. I tell you uh, it's a super long story, & I'm freaking lazy to post about it. But for my reader's sake, i shall :/

Start of the day,

The match against Taiwan, I wasn't really feeling well. I was off-formed. I played like shit, even got scolded by Coach. But i realized, I'm always the main 7 up on court. Haha, & for the 30minutes half, Coach will only substitute me out less than 2 times. Because i had a very high stamina. Super hyperactive, run here run there, won't tired one. HAHAHA. So yah, starting match with Taiwan was like shit. But during the second match, the fun begins.

& Anyway,

if you've heard or seen how terrible Singapore has scored, you would have known why we were over-elated during the end of our last match! :D Haha. We were playing our first half with Hongkong, some were on-form, but some wasn't. & for the 1st half, we ended off with a score of 28 - 10. Singapore only got 10. Then coach said something like, "If this continues, & we maintain like this, the final score would be 58 - 20. Nobody wants that right? So everyone put in your last effort, and fight for it." Something like this, & everyone was motivating and encouraging each other. On court, i told myself, "No matter what, please do not give up on yourself Oscar. I believe you can do it." Haha. You gotta speak to your inner-conscious to keep moving on strong.

Then on court,

We started to get on form. Motivating one another subsequently. With the never give up attitude. Then the 2nd Leg started. Our defense tightened like HELL! The hongkong players were fussing over the match. I swear they seriously was! :D They couldn't cut through us. If they came near, we'd pressure and checked them, making them feel pressured, thus, dropping the ball or passing it away immediately. They didn't form any kind of threats. So we got more confident as we see the faces on them. They were left with no choice, almost having a Passive Play twice in a row.

How about that y'all?! :D
Almost having to Passive Twice in a row. That's real bad. I turned & saw their Coach, he was kneeling on the ground. One knee touching the floor, the other one stomping the ground. I think he expected the Hongkong boys to do much better than that. So in the first match, Singapore's score was 28 : 10. Score Difference of 18. But after the second Leg, The final score was 44 : 24. So taking away the score from the first half, the score for the Second Half was 16 : 14. Our Score Difference was only 2! See the improvement now? The 'Never-Give-Up' attitude of the Singapore Youth Handball Team. So the match finished, we might have lost, but we were celebrating. Because of the Score Difference & our target to not let them exceed the 45 Point Mark. & not be thrashed by them by half again. Because all of our Games, we got thrashed by at least half the score. But for our last match, we managed to pull out a great show. I scored 4 - 5 Goals for that match.

&,

Approximately 7 - 8 goals for the tournament.

Ohgosh, My target was actually just being able to score one for each game can already. But now, I've got 7 - 8 Goals. AN ACCOMPLISHMENT INDEED! :D Haha. & now, I'm entire body's aching from the runs, sprints and accidental incidents. Like being hit on the Jaw by the Hongkong Player. Swollen & Bruised on my right Jaw. PAIN! Being knee-d by Shuaige from Taiwan. (That's his nickname, but he's really good-looking.) & other subsequent injuries lah. This should be the end of the post already. Think that the boys are gonna get a one week break from Handball. Haha. YAYY!~ RELAX TIMEEE!

P/s: It took me 3 days to post such a short post. Weird right? Because everytime i post halfway, i get distracted & will go facebooking or whatever. Then never care about blogger. I saved as draft everytime. So the date is on 29th January. Haha. But actually, it's 31st already ._. that just simply shows how lazy i am :/ WTH.!

& Fyi,
I don't find blogging as interesting as before already. Because my hit counters dropped drastically & it's not climbing back up. Unless if everyone can help me spread word around, that my blog has reopened already. Haha. Thanks! :D

Tensed up :/

I heard about this article about Youth Olympians will be able to get a free phone. Samsung Omnia Lite. This is the website.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1032448/1/.html

Tournament was tough.

I was nervous. Hell nervous. My palms was wet. My legs was shivering. I wasn't performing up to standards. I don't know. I felt pressured with the crowds. Usually, there wouldn't be so many people watching our Trainings or Friendly Games. But Yesterday, My family was there, Regent Handball was there, My Bestfriend was there. (& you was there.)

The Spotlight,

The Supporters, The Sound of the player's shoes rubbing against the court, The Voice of the Commentator, The Shouts across the court from the Coach, & many others more. The pressure is just humongous. I have to get used to this. I have to. The Chinese Taipei players, were the boys that we met on our trip to taiwan. We knew them all. They knew partial of us too. Bo feng was there too. He was sort of like my shifu in taiwan. He taught me the Winger shots, how do wingers run & positions all these. He's damn nice. & he was on court that day too.

I was fine for the entire match, no injuries.

Except for the last ball, i got knee-d on my thigh, my leg softened, & i couldn't really walk. My thigh muscle couldn't support my body weight. I almost fell on the floor 2 times when i was home. It's like my thigh muscle aren't working @ all. It hurt, real bad. I get i can't really play for today's match :/ Sigh.

Singapore Youth Handball 2010 (SYH) @ Suntec ICC Hall 602

HELLOHELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm here to post again. Anyway, i'm here to post about the Handball Tournament that's coming up. Haha. & Here it is.

Singapore will be having it's first ever National Handball Tournament on 26, 27 & 28 January 2010. It's open to public. & guess what? IT'S FREE. It'll be @ Suntec ICC Hall 602. This are the timings that Singapore Will be playing :

26January, 20:00 - 21:45 (Singapore Boys Vs Taipei Boys)

27January, 20:00 - 21.45 (Singapore Boys Vs Hong Kong Boys)

28January, 12:00 - 13:45 (Singapore Boys Vs Taipei Boys)

28January, 18:00 - 19:45 (Singapore Boys Vs Hongkong Boys)

Please do come down & support. If you're lucky, you might simply just get to see me in action :X HAHAHA. I'll be playing as the Left Winger (Guess you don't understand). Jersey Number 4. But Singapore might not really have a chance to win. They've been playing for 9 years already, while the SIngapore Handball Team only started 1 year ago. it's for the experience yeah? :X Anyway, pleasepleaseplease do come down to support. It's on our home-ground & we need supporters. Please give me a text/call if you're coming. @ 93651795. I'll be there in the morning to help out. While the allocated timings, i'll be playing. Haha. Please do send me a text earlier to tell me if you're going or not. Haha.

Anyway,

If you're able to make it there. I might not be able to come find you unless if i'm there early & it isn't my game yet. Haha. I could find you for a while. Haha. But i might need to entertain the People there. Haha. So yah, might be quite busy :D Haha. But just give me a text if you have any inquiries or problems. Thanks. Anyway, if you don't know how to get to Suntec ICC Hall 602. Please go to http://www.tdc.sg/venues/?vid=4913 to find out more. Or simply go to http://www.streetdirectory.com/asia_travel/travel/travel_id_8245/travel_site_31/ . Haha. See you thereee! :D

I'm sorry it ended even before it started.

Get the damn facts right before the finger starts pointing.

You all think i'm happy isn't it? You think i wanted this to happen? You all think i don't feel a thing that i caused it to happen? I'm sorry, please wake up and see for yourself. None of you saw what i went through for the past 2 days. People around/with me, don't even know. In other words, i don't feel good either.

i wanted to find someone to talk to,

but i didn't. Because i was thinking, what they hell would they know/understand if i told them what's wrong with me? Have they even gone through what i experienced for the past 2 days? They might have gone through, but do they still feel it like they're experiencing the feeling they used to have felt? Or do they even understand what kind of feelings it really is? Or do they claim that they understand, but in fact they don't? & they claimed they understand, because they wanted you to confide in them. But they're just trying to help.

I'm sorry,

if i rejected to talk to anyone of you who's trying to help me. I was just feeling, unstable.

It's late,

I ought to be in bed now. But i can't. I lay down here, waiting & hoping to fall asleep, right now.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that i broke your heart.
I know no much words could make you feel better. But, i'm not confident in my own doings. It's not you, i swear it isn't. The problem lies with me. I'm afraid of commitment, i'm afraid i might not be able to stay faithful. I'm afraid of set-backs. It's better to end earlier, than to drag it. You see, I'm not how you used to think i were. I'm not all nice, all sweet or others. I'm not ready to fall in love yet. My mind doesn't wanna fall in love, but my heart does. So, it becomes a mixed up feeling. I'm sorry i confessed to you too soon. We shouldn't have confessed so soon. I remembered telling you, i didn't want to confess, because i wanted to be sure of my feelings first. But in the end, i confessed. It was a short term. This was what i was afraid of. I'm afraid it would only last a moment.

It's better to end now, than later. Because this is your very important year. It's your O's. If i end later, i'm afraid it might all be just too late already. I'm sorry, please be strong. & like you said, you'll sever ties, to get over me. Okay, i'll agree and respect your decision. But please promise, you'll be strong. Please.

Feeling of being, so afraid.

I'm afraid,

I'm afraid, it might be lust.

I'm afraid, i might hurt you.

I'm afraid, i might not be faithful.

I'm afraid, you might be distracted.

I'm afraid, i might be a bad influence to you.

I'm afraid, i might do the wrong things with you.

I'm afraid, you wouldn't be ablt to concentrate for Olevels.

I'm afraid of so many things.

But idk. My mind doesn't want to get into a relationship. But my heart does.

Singapore 1st Youth Handball Tournament.

Singapore's 1st Handball Tournament Poster

Fixtures/Time For The Tournament.

Singapore Boys Team will be playing on No: 4, 8, 10, 12.

If you interested/free, you can come watch for free (I think). This event will be opened to public. Please ask your friends, your family, your whoever, or even strangers to come watch. Everyone can come! :D So if you're free, please come to Suntec ICC Hall 602 on 26, 27, 28 January 2010.

I'll be playing as the Winger.

Meaning the attacking left side. If you're lucky, you'll get to see me! :X HAHAHA. Heard from Mr Gabriel that he'll be bringing the Entire Regent Handball Boys down to watch. It's gonna be an intensifying match. So please come watch. Hongkong & Taiwan have played for at least 9 YEARS. While Singapore just started 1 year ago. Please wish us all the best. Thanks.

For any enquiries or questions.
You can tag @ the side of the tagboard. & I'll reply to you as soon as possible. Thanks.

Singapore might not be able to win this tournament.
But it's for the experience.

It's part of their everyday life as they learn Handball Since Primary school & also as a PE lesson.

Pray for me.

Alright,

Love's forcing me to post! :X HAHAHA. But i'm super lazy. She super cute i tell you. I told her i don't want to post. Then she was like, "GO POST LAH TAOYANNNN!~" Haha, no lah. She just kept asking me to post, because she wants to read. Then i really lazy mah, then this was what beloved said, "You tell me goodnight on the post. Just one sentence." Haha. So cute right? I lazy to post, then she asked me to post just one sentence. To tell her goodnight :X HAHAHA. & it was all solely because she wanted to read my post. Haha.

Alright.
Today's training cum friendly match @ NUS was quite tiring. Was sick, so had a really hard time focusing. The sun was blazing & scorching hot! Dang. & as you know, energy cannot be destroyed or created, but can only be transferred. So my previous trainings, i was complaining, saying the sun sucked my energy away. So everyone started laughing. Because i said the Sun sucked away my energy, & someone said, 'Wah, damn smart. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it can be transferred.' Actually i also don't know what's so funny about that. But @ the period of time i just found it funny ._.

So yah,

Today had friend with NUS Raffles Halls. We've played with quite a few of the NUS teams already. Played with Kent Ridge, Eusoff & Raffles. & I'm sure everyone would have realized that majority of my posts has got something about the Handball. Handball is slowly overtaking my blog man :/

Ahh,

shit. I don't wanna post about handball today. So after handball, went to eat with the boys @ the NUS cafeteria. After that left for home soon. & so i was texting with love while on the way home on the bus. Haha. Was super tired. So reached home. Then slept all the way till the evening, & was awoken by my brother to go find Mama @ Amk. She says wanna go shopping but in the end, didn't really buy any clothes @ all. Due to some personal reasons. So yah, went back home. & soon, here i am posting.

I don't really wanna post a long post you see.

Haha Because i'm unwell (& I'll use this as an excuse to not post a long one when i'm sick, but you see, i'm just plain lazyyyy! :D ) HAHAHA. Tomorrow i'm free. So ask me out soon, before i get into the goddamn ITE. Please pray for me, pray that i will get to retain, & i wouldn't need to go for ITE. Pleaseeeee ): You'll never regret that you helped me to pray. Because i'll work muchmuchmuch more harder if i get this second chance. I really do need it. Please.

God, or whoever out there that can hear me.
Please bless me. Allow me to have another chance to repeat Secondary4. Please don't do this to me. I really need this. My family has financial problems, so i can't take Private. So i'll only hope for a 2nd chance in Sec4. Please please please god or whoever out there. Give me another chance. :/

Before i go off,

Goodnight, love.

Fuck all these thaat are coming to me all @ once.

I don't feel like posting about today.
But i have to :/ I was woken up by Pengkoon. He gave a a phone call, asking me to accompany him to school to check about his retaining application. Then i agreed, but soon later. Terror arrived. We were still texting, when he suddenly told me, he's got a good news. The Vice-Principal has called him already. & has asked him to go back down to school on Monday. But for me, she called, but told me to get ready for a Second Option. She asked me to submit my JAE. But she didn't tell me anything about the interview.

I panicked.

I was afraid. I really was. I was in an unclear state of mind. I wasn't doing what my mind was telling to do. I was losing control, I swear i really was. I started doing things that i didn't want to do. I sent harsh and hurtful messages. I was afraid, i wouldn't be able to retain. I placed all my hopes so high, & it all came crashing down on me. It hit me hard, real hard. I fell onto the ground, & i'm thinking of how i'm gonna pick myself up after this blow. I'm afraid, i dare not carry on. I thought, maybe by having another year, i could do better, & maybe i could excel. But this hope, is gone.

I went back to school,

In a very unstable state. My tears was forming up on my eyelashes. I walked into the school. Headed to the Sewing Room to find Mr Gabriel, i talked to him less than 5 seconds. I broke down. He knew nothing about what happened to me. The previous night, i just had a tiff with my mum. She doesn't trust me. & she doesn't believe in anything i said. I said i'll retain, and strive for better results. Guess what, which parent would discourage you, and doubt you? Every parent would encourage their kid in whatever they want and wishes to pursue. But guess what? Mine doubts that i can make it again.

When all my hopes and faith have all crushed down,

I need my loved ones to pick me up again. But this is what they give it to me. I don't need this, i need none of it. If you're going to worsen it, forget it. & keep it all for yourself. I never needed a family to break all my hopes and discourage me. I don't need, & i don't want any of this. I'm getting sick just stressing myself about this. I'm down with quite a warm body temperature, cough, flu, headache. & my migraine is all coming back. I'm getting so sick and tired of all this bullshit. I really am.

Fuck this, fuck life, fuck school.

Sickkkk :/

Long posts bore me much.

It's nice reading one entire one if it's about you. Or maybe long interesting ones. But it kills me again and again to post one long one. I'm just lazy you see. Okay, short post today peeps! I'm sick ._. Down with quite a severe cough, when i cough, the diaphragm compresses, then it feels damn painful :/ It'll be torture for every cough that i give out. I wanna make this post short. I shall not post about the Training cum Friendly match against Eusoff hall @ NUS today. Too long le. My mucus keeps flowingggg ._. Damn irritating. I damn cold now nah :/ Cannot tahan.

Anyway,

today went back to school to hand up the Form To Appeal For Retain. Wore the HFS shirt, plus an ordinary pants. Went to Lot1 with my broken slippers, walked into Cotton On, bought a red slippers again, & went to change. So after that, went back too school. Went to find gabriel & handed up the Form. We chat for quite awhile. Then was actually supposed to meet my beloved one, but didn't have the time. She had dance in school, so yah, couldn't meet her up for awhile loh. But it's okay, there'll still be a next time right beloved? :D

Thanks for caring so much for me aye? :D

I know you treat me well. I'll cut down for you, beloved. Okay? It's hard, so I'm gonna need you by my side during the period of cutting down on my daily habits. From one pack a day, to a few sticks. Then slowly, to none. Okay? DO remember to remind me everytime okay? :D When the temptation kicks in again, do whisper in my ears and tell me what i need to hear okay? :D I'm sure i'll makek it through. Okay? :D

Trust me, trust you girl.

& i said the same thing every single time.

HOMEHOMEHOMEEE!

Today had a longggggggggggggggggggggggg day. But it was well spent today. Oh wait, shit! I think i'm gonna have sorethroat soon. My throat hurting ): Damn pain i tell you ): Don't know why suddenly like that. ): I also didn't eat any heaty food ): But it's hurting like hell lahhzxzx ! ): Hope tomorrow will wake up with the sorethroat gone):

Ah fag,

forget about complaining. I've still got a long post to post about. So i went back to school today. For the Handball Filming. First we went to play ball first. Then after awhile, the filming crew came. So yah, all went to the classroom @ 1-1. Except Me, Alvin, Dragon, Joseph & Shengda. We couldn't really be part of it because we've graduated already. Actually, a nicer way is to say graduate, but another way is to say we're not in the school already. Maybe I might still be back. But Joseph & Jo say they won't be retaining. They got their own mindset, so yah. Wish them all the best lah. So went to classroom, the stars were Jonathan & Junming. Aiyah, always bias one. Nehmind ._. Forget it. Then finally they put me to good use ! :D HAHAHA. Then they needed a fight scene. Haha, So the plan was, I walk to bernice take number, (It's all in the show only ._. ) Then Junming not happy, because Bernice was Junming's GIRLFRIEND! :X HAHAHAHA. You had no idea how much we laughed when we have to to act out Junming saying Bernice his girlfriend! :X HAHAHA. Then we outside de those few, asked Junming & Jon comeout to fight. Then Pritpal & Shahmel side them one, so came out fight also. So they 4 fight against us around 5.

Haha,

But it's just a fake fight only lah. Haha, no hard feelings. It's all for show only. Haha. It's a Re-Enactment you see. HAHAHA. But very the funny, we acting the fight first part, Junming whack till my head already ._. HAHAHA! PAIN SIAH! His arms stretched and extend out full force because wanna push me away, then he hit till my jaw. Haha, yesterday play Handball also hit till my Jaw. HAHAHA. I think Junming see me not happy! :X HAHAHAHA! Okay, but after that of course he apologised lah. Haha. So all these all that. then i shall skip to better parts lah.

Haha,

So after the classroom scene, it's training time! :D Haha, Then we have to act out our very first time when we got our jersey. So @ there act le. Got a few NGs lah. HAHA. Cause keep laughing. Especially me. NEHNEH, i can't control, and keep giggling. Then also got one part, we play a game, then must gather, then must act like we not happy with one another. That's the part which i laughed the most i tell you. Idk why also. But i just find it funny acting. I'm not the 'acting in front of camera' type. HAHAHA! Then we must act like we're quarrelling. My team not happy with his team. So all these and all that. Then after that is others that i can't remember as it's just far distance. Like taking the video when we warm up and play friendly against each other! :D HAHAHA.

Everyone around the school,

was actually looking @ us. Because got the filming camera mah. Haha. Very obvious. From somewhere around 3 film till 7 plus. Film till school close niao. HAHAHA. But didn't film finish everything. They'll be getting back next week to continue the film again.

Tired after all these training loh.

Haha. Too bad beloved wasn't here with me. If not i think she also will laugh de. Haha. She went studying with her friends @ lot1 library. Beloved, jiayou okay? I'll help you with your dnt. But not totally okay? You must put in your own effort too! :D Okay? :D Tomorrow we might be going out together. But not confirm yet. Maybe going to vivo with Gordon and Shunling to celebrate their 1st month. Haha. Then going to find Joseph. Haha. But maybe not. Because beloved still have school tomorrow. Haha.

OHOHOH!

I JUST REALISED CANNOT GO OUT LE. Cause i'm having my Youth Trainings on 14th January. Wah, sorry beloved! I just checked the HFS boys blog. WAHHHH! Really sadd lah. I still thought tomorrow could go out with youuuu. ): Nevermind, there'll be a next time one okay ? :D I know there'll be even more coming up. Haha.

I gotta go sleep now le.

Cause my mama nagging just now. Haha. OHOHOH!

Reminder to self,

Please remember to go to Regent tomorrow to hand up retain form.

Tomorrow deadline. Please do not drag anymore, it's for your own good.

Imisssyou.

(youknowwhoyouare:D)

Friends that don't know me thinks i'm quiet, but friends that knows me wish i am

I just felt like posting this picture.
Haha. I like this photo! This was the photo takened @ my family chalet on the 2nd Night. Haha. I think my smile is great for this picture. This kinda smile don't really come often. Haha. Relaxed & Nice! :D HAHAHA.

Okayokay,

Just now back @ school for Handball. Coach the boys how to play this and that. Then after that had debrief. Mr Gabriel then told us that tomorrow all the Old Boys have to be there. Need to go back to Regent for some filming things for MOE. Heard that it'll be published in all schools for assembly or something. Haha. Cool, then some day you'll see me famous! :D Mr Gabriel told us the stars will be Junming & Jon.again

I don't know whether I'll be in it or not. But just hope I'll be. But I'm not a good actor.Cause we'll have to do a Re-Enactment on how we used to be last time. I think. But have to reach school @ 2.45pm. & will end @ 7 plus. Due to the N.G here and there. I think there'll be alot of retakes. If you know me, I'm the hyperactive type. You can't ask me to be serious and suddenly start acting. I'll guarantee you i can't do it. I'll keep smiling, then NG & retake. Then I'll burst into laughter again ._. So you see, it's difficult, for me. Haha.

So yah,

After training, met up with beloved. Then sat by the bus-stop, & waited for the rest to board the bus, then we walked to Yewtee. Went to tap in card there, Beloved didn't have enough money to come in, so went to top up card and came in. So we took the train to Lot1, then went to the interchange, & waited for the bus. I sent Beloved till the house Bus-stop there, then you went off. & i sat the bus back to Lot1. So after that, was spamming messages to your phone, but you couldn't reply due to your phone having left with 7cents. & so, spammed all the way from there to Yewtee, till back home. & suddenly my phone vibrated. & It was from you :D Haha. You used your Mama & Papa's phone to text me. How sweet of you! :D Haha.

Oh,

I wanted to tell you, you still look as pretty as you are in School Uniform :D No matter what you put on on you, it'll just look great. Even if it's an old rugged piece of Your beautiful smile, your long hair, & your mesmerizing eyes :D They don't see the beauty in you as much as i do. Because you're uncommon, unique, & you're one of a kind. Please bear this in mind. :D

P/s: Incase if you're wondering if i'm attached or not. I'm not, for now. But there's someone that i'm fond of. & she's fond of me too i think :D We will see how things go first. Before stepping into a relationship. Haha. But don't worry readers! I'll update on the latest news of us :x HAHAHA. So do stay tuned! :D

Oh, just being random,

I'd hope for and want a Bestfriend + Lovers kinda relationship, that both of us can simply keep talking for hours about daily life things and it'll never seem to end. & they can always talk to each other about problems or whatsoever. & that's rubbish right? Who wouldn't want such a relationship? It's much better.

Thank you, Mr gabriel

I was woken up by ringtone of my phone.
I answered it, it was Mr gabriel. My school's OM cum School's Handball Teacher-In-Charge cum Discipline Teacher. He said, "Hey, so have you discussed with your Mum about retaining already?" I replied yeah. He told me I can combine subjects if i retain. Meaning, I'll only take a few subjects his year. I'll use my this current O'levels English & D&T. So I'll just take 3 more subjects. & I'll just concentrate on these three subjects. From things that are going now. The 3 subjects should be Maths, Combined Science (Physics & Chemistry) & Chinese/Poa.

Mr Gabriel says,

He's helped talked to Mrs Tong (Regent's Vice-Principal), & she has already agreed to allow me to retain already. Mr Gabriel has also promised to take full responsibility for my well being in school. So if i don't anything in school, i'll be handled by him personally. But now, the only thing is my mum. They need my actual parent to go down to see the Vice-Principal. Guardian cannot. & my mum don't usually care about my school's stuffs ones. So i'll have to call to arrange a meeting with the Vice-Principal regarding this matter.

I'm going to school for handball now already. Will post up again when i'm back :D

Regardless of what the outcome is, Please do not give up on me.

I've received my O'levels Result.

I don't know how to describe my feelings/mood. I'm semi-contented. But semi-crushed by the results. Although I've already knew what the outcome is, i was still feelings nervous. By nature, normal human beings would be anxious about receiving their Results Slip. So i sat by the hall. I was the last person queuing up for the Result Slip. They announced the top scorers, & did a briefing. Then, it was the moment of truth. They had to give the results by Index Numbers. My index was 38, 3rd in class. So i could only wait till my turn.

Soon,

It was my turn already. As i stood by the side, i saw so many people, with the expressions that i described in the previous posts. Friends of mine was crying Tears Of Joy, while some were crying Tears Of Pain. I seriously was afraid @ the very moment. I knew it'd be one of them. I sat down, it wasn't Mrs Gan in front of me. It was some other teacher. Mrs Gan had to undergo surgery on the very day that we took our results. As i sat there, she gave me my photo-copied result, & told me, 'You can't get your results unless you pay your library fines.' So i couldn't get the original one, except the photocopied one. Unless i pay the fine, & show the receipt. Then i remembered, Yvonne told me she used my card to borrow the books. So i went to look for Yvonne. Then i couldn't find her, so i went to find Yuxiang to talk. Then i didn't look @ my results. So i sat, & looked. & i saw a miracle. & i saw this.

I swear i was shocked when i saw that.

I didn't expect to have gotten a A2. Because, when they were briefing, the Principal said, "Only 4% of the O'levels takers score a distinction for English Language, & .. " There was only 1 person that scored A1 for English, & 7 person that scored A2. & guess what,

I was one of the Lucky Seven

Perhaps it was the prayer that i made in the morning. Although i don't believe in any religions. I just made one, hoping to be blessed. & indeed i was, but only in 2 subjects. I only passed English & D&T. I got a B3 for D&T. The rest, i failed. But nevertheless, i still made improvements. Because for L1R4, i scored 41 for midyear, 34 for prelim, & now 27 for O'levels. I improved by 7 everytime. Perhaps by next year, if I'm given this chance to retake it again. I'll promise to score better. Much better than this time. I wouldn't disappoint anyone. I'll score maximum 20 points. I'll pass Maths & Science. & I'll need one more subject. Now for English & D&T, I've got 5 points already. & for L1R4, i need another 3 subjects. So it shall be Maths, Combined Sciences (Physics & Chemistry) & just one more Subject. I'm planning whether to take POA, Combine Humanities or Mother Tongue.

But,

I'm fortunate enough, & I'm able to retain. I'll promise to work harder next year for O'levels. I've got 5 points now for English & D&T add up. Now i need another 15 points and below to reach my target. 15 points for 3 subjects. It should still be okay. I believe i can make it :D

F. I just had a short quarrel with my mother again.

Due to the results. But she just never seemsto look @ the good ones first. She'll scold & scold. I told her I'll retain to achieve better result. & She sort of doubts that i'll study hard. But in the end, i persuaded her to believe, i'll do well if i have one more year. I've disappointed quite a few people, but also shocked quite a few too. This year, i guarantee you, you'll be seeing a different me. I shall dominate & show the world, I'll get maximum a 20 pointer. or maybe a 15 pointer ! :D YIPEEEE.

Alright,

I shall stop my crap about dominating the world ._. Anyway, this are my results.

A nightmare you wished you never made.

3 more hours,

To the release of the O'levels results. Please god, or whoever who there. Bless me. I already know the outcome of my results. I just hope i can get the second chance to retain for another year. I don't care if other people despise me because i retain.

I regretted,

That i realised the tension of Olevels too late. Too late to mend on my mistakes. Midyear examinations, L1B4 - 41. Where could i go with such tremendous results? Nowhere. I doubt so that ITE will accept me. I started mugging for Prelims. Then for L1B4, i scored 34. An improvement, but not good enough in time for Olevels. I mugged @ home. I started asking people out to study together with me. Because I'm not the type that studies alone. I can't study alone, @ that period of time. I said i couldn't study alone, because i knew not a single thing about the subjects. I flunked my Maths from Sec1 - Sec4. Never passed once before. I only excel in some on the Maths topics. Like probability. But i can't do trigonometry. I don't understand why I'm like this. I wanna change for the better sake, that's why I'm praying for a second chance. Please god, or whoever. Give me another try. I'm a free-thinker. So I'm praying out to all the gods out there that could hear me.

I'm thinking about all the situation,

& the atmosphere of the area. There would be so many people crying tears of joy, or crying tears of pain, & regret. There's only two emotion outburst you'll experience when you get your Olevel results. You'll be super happy, because you made it, or you got your expected scores. Or, you'll feel your heart & body just dropped a thousand floors, & the fear of getting hit on the floor will stay in you eventually till you hit the ground. Pain will wrap your body, soul & mind.

There's also two ways of walking home.

• You'll either be jumping for joy home, gripping onto the results slip, till the sweat in your palms dissolves in your Result Slip. You'll be over the moon. Whoever that you see, you'd asked, 'Hey! How much you get?' You'll be so happy, that you can't stop smiling. Your mouth never seems to get tired just smiling or laughing. You didn't want to keep your Result Slip in your bag. Because you wished someone who come to you and asked how much you've scored, & you'll just stretched your hand straight, & let them see it. You're as clear and as alert as you previously used to be before getting the Result Slip. & Normally, your 20 minutes journey home, seemed like a 2 minute one. When you reached home, you looked through the courses that you're illegible for. & Now, you choose the courses. Not the courses choose you. You can't wait to let your parents know about this. You'll wish this feeling last forever.

• You'll be walking home, with your head down, staring @ the result slip. Tears might be at the tip of your eyeballs. It might just fall and hit the result slip with a movement of your eye. Your eyes are nailed onto the results slip. You just can't stop thinking about it. You regretted you didn't study well. You almost hit into a wall, & your friend pulled you away. You were too focused onto the result slip. You never felt this focused before. So focused, that you couldn't take notice of your surroundings. So focused, that you can't hear your friend calling out to you when you're crossing the road as there's an oncoming vehicle travelling towards you. Your heart sank to the core of the sea bed, & you just can't seemed to get it back. Every little inch it sunk, your mood just goes with it. & Normally, your 20 minutes journey home, seemed like it's taking forever. When you reached home, you look through the courses you're illegible for. & you realised, it's the courses that choose you. & you can't get into the course that you want. & You wished your parents will never know about your results. & you wished it was just a Nightmare, or A Scary Dream.

P/s: If you see your friend being the 2nd one. & you scored the marks that you wished for. Please, do not go to them, console them & tell them, 'I know how you feel.' Because you actually don't. By doing this, a quarrel might occur. You might feel that you've been in this before. Because you might have failed the Ordinary Common Tests or any others. But those CA1, SA1, CA2, & SA2 can't be compared to a National Exam. So, please be considerate & put yourself into their shoes. & try to understand how they feel. You could console, but never say the wrong words. Think, if you were them, what would you not wish to hear? Then don't say that. Perhaps, you can spend time with your broken-hearted friend, & try to get his mind out of that current state.

Pissed off, seriously pissed.

I'm getting pissed,
@ a message, which i don't understand. But it insulted me, making it sound like a was some kind of bad influence. It's just a goddamn birthday party, not a gang fight. You're making it sound like as if one day to celebrate her birthday, will destroy her entire life. I want the best for the person that i'm fond of. & i'll never do anything intentional to hurt her. So don't make it sound like as if i'm some kind of assholes to break people's future or life. Fuck.

Fuck this.

Your friend's message left me speechless.

I don't understand what she said. But somehow and somewhat, it hurt me. What does she mean by 'Not everything about her is written down there.' What's the everything that she refers to? Is it love, is it life, is it friends, is it you, or is it me? Wth. It seriously spoiled my mood. Yet i can't find anyone to talk to. You're asleep & you have school tomorrow. Your friend told me, 'There is no relation between you and her. Perhaps friends or close friends.' So who the hell should i believe now? From that day onwards, i've never treated you just friends. You slowly started to be a part in my life. But i still don't know about you yet. So am i someone important to you? Or am i just a substitute? So what is this about now? Did she say this, because she didn't know enough about the both of us. Or is it because she said this, because there's still something that you have yet to tell me yet. Or is it that i got the wrong meaning? I'm fucking paranoid right now. I need you to explain everything to me, right now. I don't suppose you have a single idea what's going on now huh? Neither do i. Maybe it's because, your friend doesn't know much. & started saying some nonsense. Or maybe like i said, it's because i got the wrong meaning. But this is the first time, someone said something to me, i don't understand a single shit about it, but from what the message says, it's disturbed and it pissed me off. Yah, i might get the wrong idea. But still, it might be because of your message wasn't written correctly. I need this to be explained to me now. Or my mood will be spoiled.

Fuck this _|_