To the release of the O'levels results. Please god, or whoever who there. Bless me. I already know the outcome of my results. I just hope i can get the second chance to retain for another year. I don't care if other people despise me because i retain.
I regretted,
That i realised the tension of Olevels too late. Too late to mend on my mistakes. Midyear examinations, L1B4 - 41. Where could i go with such tremendous results? Nowhere. I doubt so that ITE will accept me. I started mugging for Prelims. Then for L1B4, i scored 34. An improvement, but not good enough in time for Olevels. I mugged @ home. I started asking people out to study together with me. Because I'm not the type that studies alone. I can't study alone, @ that period of time. I said i couldn't study alone, because i knew not a single thing about the subjects. I flunked my Maths from Sec1 - Sec4. Never passed once before. I only excel in some on the Maths topics. Like probability. But i can't do trigonometry. I don't understand why I'm like this. I wanna change for the better sake, that's why I'm praying for a second chance. Please god, or whoever. Give me another try. I'm a free-thinker. So I'm praying out to all the gods out there that could hear me.
I'm thinking about all the situation,
& the atmosphere of the area. There would be so many people crying tears of joy, or crying tears of pain, & regret. There's only two emotion outburst you'll experience when you get your Olevel results. You'll be super happy, because you made it, or you got your expected scores. Or, you'll feel your heart & body just dropped a thousand floors, & the fear of getting hit on the floor will stay in you eventually till you hit the ground. Pain will wrap your body, soul & mind.
There's also two ways of walking home.
- You'll either be jumping for joy home, gripping onto the results slip, till the sweat in your palms dissolves in your Result Slip. You'll be over the moon. Whoever that you see, you'd asked, 'Hey! How much you get?' You'll be so happy, that you can't stop smiling. Your mouth never seems to get tired just smiling or laughing. You didn't want to keep your Result Slip in your bag. Because you wished someone who come to you and asked how much you've scored, & you'll just stretched your hand straight, & let them see it. You're as clear and as alert as you previously used to be before getting the Result Slip. & Normally, your 20 minutes journey home, seemed like a 2 minute one. When you reached home, you looked through the courses that you're illegible for. & Now, you choose the courses. Not the courses choose you. You can't wait to let your parents know about this. You'll wish this feeling last forever.
- You'll be walking home, with your head down, staring @ the result slip. Tears might be at the tip of your eyeballs. It might just fall and hit the result slip with a movement of your eye. Your eyes are nailed onto the results slip. You just can't stop thinking about it. You regretted you didn't study well. You almost hit into a wall, & your friend pulled you away. You were too focused onto the result slip. You never felt this focused before. So focused, that you couldn't take notice of your surroundings. So focused, that you can't hear your friend calling out to you when you're crossing the road as there's an oncoming vehicle travelling towards you. Your heart sank to the core of the sea bed, & you just can't seemed to get it back. Every little inch it sunk, your mood just goes with it. & Normally, your 20 minutes journey home, seemed like it's taking forever. When you reached home, you look through the courses you're illegible for. & you realised, it's the courses that choose you. & you can't get into the course that you want. & You wished your parents will never know about your results. & you wished it was just a Nightmare, or A Scary Dream.
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