It just depends on how you react and take them on. It has always been true that I've stayed loyal to listening to almost your every single thing you had to say when you need someone to talk to. You've never put words into my mouth before, you've never pushed the blame to me before, you've never hurt me so much before. You make it sound like words you said could be done so easily. Do you think it'd be so easy to get over you? To forget all those memories we once had. I've never thought the both of us would have ended. I guess, i was first priority when it comes to looking for someone to talk to. But I've never thought, there came a female, when it slowly became that you both became the best of the best friends, & then soon, you started finding out things about me. I didn't even know why. You should have known, our status between each other between me and her. You gotta know, if you're fond of someone, every single thing that you've done with the person, it'll affect you someway. Either in a sense of happiness, or a hit-back by reality. Please do try to understand, boys also have feelings also. It doesn't mean, i might be a boy, & i have a stronger appearance on the outside, would actually mean that I'm stronger on the inside. If you've been thinking that way, you're wrong. I cried, on that night that i asked to severe ties with you. I don't know whether you'll feel the same way as i do. But i guess, it doesn't really matters to you now already. I've just made a clean swipe between the both of us. & I'm sure you'll be better off without me. I need a break from all these hit-backs by reality. It's really wearing me off thin. I've tried to patch things up with you. But in the end, it gets destroyed and it pushed me hard down into the ground. I've been trying, trying to find someone to talk to. Hoping it'd give me the feeling, of allowing me to feel that it's you. To let me pretend that I'm talking to you, and also talking about you. It doesn't feel like you, not even a single little bit. I was hoping so much, within the few days, I'd receive a text from you. But i didn't. & I guess, for now. I wouldn't want to receive. Like i said, for this short period of time. Let me grab a hold of myself. I'm seriously losing control. My patience has been wearing thin already, way too thin for me to handle. Give me these few days to grab a hold on regain consciousness of my inner-self. I misses talking happy words with you so much. Where every single message would make me smile whether I'm in public or at home. It might just be embarrassing to look @ my phone & smile like as if I'm doing something stupid. It used to be like this, but it's not coming back again. I know it's not. As long as I'm not first priority, it's never. You've always used to think about how i feel so much. Always thought about how i am. But things are not the same anymore. I feel, that you've slowly been taking me for granted. Like as if, you just met me, and I'm someone annoying. Perhaps you didn't know, but it's hurting receiving treatments like this from you. I had to put on a front, a happy/brave front when I'm out of my house. I don't allow others to see how I'm feeling. Neither do i let them know that I'm not feeling myself. Unless it's @ the peak of my emotions. & I can't tolerate it anymore. & i might just be bursting into tears anytime. None of my listening ears now feels like you. They could never make me feel okay after a period of texting or talking to each other. They can't. It's not easy for me getting over you. It's not. After all these memories we've got through. For approximately 4 years, we've been at goodfriends, at least. & now, you're asking me to let go of you. It might appear easy for you. But it's not for me.
It's okay,
I'll be that shadow following you everytime, I'll be that breeze that brush across your face, I'll be that pillar of faith and strength that you need when you need me. In silence, I'll be supporting you. I'll be morally-supporting you. You won't know how. But I'll be that something to listen to your inner-conscience when you need someone to talk to. Just listen to yourself, and talk to your heart. & listen to what your heart says. I'll be your inner-conscience.
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